My response is quite funny here. Haha. Weird how we change as time goes on. When I was using mushrooms at first I was quite involved in Buddhism and pretty much just starting to meditate, but I was basically brain-washed in my own way. Still brain-washed most likely, just in different ways. Ah well. I had yet to have my confidence truly taken from me via the mushrooms...
This is why I delete most of what I write when I have the chance, no chance on forums though.
I still experience a lot of time alone.
February 4... huh... this would have been sometime after, just before, or during, I took 10 grams followed by 7 grams followed by 5 grams followed by 4 grams spaced not to develop too much tolerance. I remember the 7 grams being the deepest fear I have ever and will probably ever feel. 5 grams was hard too. And eventually on the 4 grams things evened back out. But, it fucked me up for awhile. From there was the start of me actually meditating because I had traumatized myself a bit. Crazy guy. I'm happy that it happened.
I suspect my lack of healthy relationships (my unhealthy aloneness!) led me to into psychedelic-use. And my naïveté led me to act like I knew what was going on while I probably nearly killed myself. Haha. Stupid kid, damn you! :).
It's funny that I still think I haven't tripped hard in the way that most people do. But, I have a couple times dropped life completely... two times. The world didn't fall away, but it is something to drop life completely. We don't even realize we're hanging on. :). I can let it go a bit now and then on low doses nowadays. That's what I want to develop and experience more of. You drop life completely, and you take it up again!
Edited by Guy1298, 15 November 2017 - 07:21 PM.