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The worst trip imaginable


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#21 Rebelutionsssss

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Posted 01 April 2013 - 10:30 PM

I have grown ps. cyans outside for multiple seasons,
and pan cyans indoor for 6-8 years.
I have eaten 3 g's of both multiple times fine.
In fact the last 3-4 times I have eaten them,
they were at the 3 g level.
I stepped it down because I was eating them with my fiance.
She consumed 2 g's herself, and has many times.

I don't mean that in any kind of pissing contest about dose size,
I think that stuff is stupid and egoic.
A dose is a personal preference and is completely relative.
Like I mentioned above in my first post,
use common sense not dogma with enthgeogens.
I would put the statement "even seasoned warriors couldn't handle 2.5g of them."
in the dogma category.

In divine friendship,
your brother,
-wishy

dude. 3 grams of ps cyans 0.0 how are you alive. I am not worthy :bow:

#22 adam

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Posted 01 April 2013 - 10:38 PM

Sounds a bit like parts of the harder trips I've had. On aya there was one entity telling me that I was going to do all the things that you say, my dog went all crazy too and eventually actually had a seizure because she was so worked up... but she get's those.

But even with this I didn't really give into the fear. I saw it happening and concentrated more on relaxing - ignoring the voice and projecting that everything wants others to be happy so that they can be happy. Which seemed to work.

On Acid though, I went through something similar and I felt like I was having a heart attack.... I called out for God and God answered, and then I realized I was God - that I was the creator of my universe, just as others are the creators of their universe's. (although that second part took a bit of discovery lol)

The acid was the first time I went through something like that, so it kind of exposed me to learning how to focus my mind, and create positive thoughts. Still when your confused this can be hard to do.
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#23 McDozd

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Posted 02 April 2013 - 01:37 AM

Believing in anything is stupid. It segregates you and only creates conflict, and makes you more close-minded than anything. Even believing that there is no god is just the same as those who you may call 'jesus freaks'.. Life is just too damn short for conflict. I personally think it is best to maintain the most open mind you can. To listen to everything, reject nothing. Don't sway too far to either side, then you will find truth.

Without the storm, you may never have realized the sunshine


I omitted a bit, but Hyper's whole post is great.

I once heard a guy say does it really matter what you believe.. Saying there is or isn't a "God".. One can easily argue both sides to no end.

DP

bro..

Drop a line..

This is going to sound a bit like hindsight, but yo..

White sage + prayer/mantra/icaros/etc spoken over sacrament + my crystals = shields up

ALWAYS been able to force any unwanted "thing" from my reality.

Man bro,

I know that you are aware of guarding your self.

Maybe now consider warding your home with crystals..

I am sure this may get flamed, but I assure you that I have not been attacked by anything in my home since I learned about the power of the crystal.

Maybe its merely my faith in them(causing my mind to block without me actually realizing), but I don't think so.

I love you brother...

:hugs:
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#24 dpwishy

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Posted 02 April 2013 - 06:46 AM

There are so many replies I would like to write back to and respond,
but I only have so much time before work today.
Ill do my best to respond

Did you ever get that spirit or entity thing figured out?

If I were to believe in such things, I might be thinking that these incidents are related.

Also, you only ever mentioned "dog." Don't you have two of them now?


I know it was something,
I knew the second it came into my house.
So did my dog.
If you saw how my dog acted,
it was clear that something was terribly wrong.
That dog was so concerned for me.
My meditation cell is 4 feet off the ground.
It was trying everything possible to get in there with me.
This is going to sound insane,
but my dog helped me get through that.
Not in an emotional way or for support,
it fought what ever that was off to.
I know I couldnt have beaten it without my dog.
We have this cosmic bond now, its amazing.

Some funky installations were up and running around that time,
I have been told they have been taken care of.
The people who run our world understand technology and black magic,
and use technology to boost their black magic times a million.
I know a handful of people in higher whistleblower/conspiracy work that had similar experiences,
or experiences where they had the ideas to kill them selves out of no where.
Idea's they clearly could identify as not their own and from something else.

As for what it was, I have my suspicions.
But in order not to sound completely bad shit crazy,
ill leave it at that.

In the end I know what the Entity wanted.
It wanted me to feel so guilty over my actions that I would kill my self.
I know I am here for a specific reason,
until that time that reason is between God and I.
The only thing that can stop it is me.
I think they were trying to get me to off my self in guilt,
As it is only my will that can take me from my path and mission.

But you are correct, I only had one dog.
But that night is when we decided to get a new dog.
When we both came down and talked the next day,
I told her I think we are supposed to get a new dog,
I even saw it in a vision.
She said she saw the same vision and agreed.
I asked if it was a blue nose pitbull with blue feet,
as most have white feet and thats the one I saw.
She said she saw the exact same pitbull.
Within a week we got an email from a friend she works with,
he was moving and had to give up his dog and offered it to us.
Our jaws dropped when we saw the email, it was the same dog.
Blue feet and all. This happened within a week!

After a long talk with my fiance,
knowing what I went through that night and that I was being tricked.
I said it didn't feel right to listen to that vision considering what I went through.
I felt like that could have been a trap just as much as anything else.
I told her to believe in nothing we were told that night.
We declined the dog, it just felt right in our hearts.

2 weeks later we found a dog online that we wanted to adopt.
We never met the dog, it was from across the country,
but it just felt right in our hearts and we both just knew it.
When we got the papers for the dog, my jaw dropped once again.
This was a sign to me that we picked the right dog,
and passed the test of not listening to the vision and declining the blue dog.

Here is his adoption certificate,
minus the information about me.
edform.png

The universe has always spoken to me in numbers and synchronicity.
The whole thing reads 12/12/12 and 8888.
Edward came with Louisiana dog tags that read 8888.
It was proof to us that we made it through what ever that was,
and even beat it at its own game.
All it took was us to use our hears and not our minds,
and the right way was shown to us.
tag.jpg

This whole experience has brought me closer to my fiance and my dogs.
2 months later, I wouldn't have changed a thing.
I needed that experience,
I am just grateful I was strong enough to get through it.
It scares me I could have been that news story.
I was shown while it was happening,
that I built my meditation cell just for that night.
I use it daily, but my higher self told me it was built for that one battle.
I fought so hard, I now know the meaning of being a warrior of light.

In divine friendship,
your brother,
-wishy

Edited by dpwishy, 02 April 2013 - 06:52 AM.

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#25 fungi2bwith

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Posted 02 April 2013 - 07:39 AM

I had a somewhat similar incident once. excluding the wanting to kill my loved ones. I was thinking that I was in control of every living thing's life, like if I quit breathing that this reality would cease to exsist and everything in it would die along with me. Then I got it in my head that the next experience that I needed to complete was to kill myself, by slitting my wrists with my razor in the bathroom. At this point I told myself it was the drugs talking. I can't help but think that the point of this was to show me that I had a choice. I chose to come here in physical form to experience everything I could, and that I can at anytime, make the choice to go back where I came from.

Horrible thoughts enter every normal persons head every now and then. It's just something that occurs. Perhaps, if we are here to experience this reality, it's our mind experiencing it so our physical bodies wont have to. At least that's what I like to think.

Edited by fungi2bwith, 02 April 2013 - 07:46 AM.


#26 TVCasualty

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Posted 02 April 2013 - 08:21 AM

Damn, that's a scary one. Glad to hear it ended without anything bad happening.

I've wondered if trips like that might stem from the unprecedented distance we've managed to create between our selves and our innately predatory nature. After all, humans are among the best killers nature has ever produced, maybe second only to asteroids and gamma ray bursts. I imagine that we ignore or deny our heritage at our peril.

There's very little direct experience of blood or the act of taking a life in our society at this point; our meat comes on little white trays, neatly covered with plastic and at no point does it ever make eye-contact with us. There was no hunt, there was no killing, there was no literal blood on our hands and it gets really easy to forget that our dinner ever used to be alive and aware much like we are. But the predator lives on inside us nonetheless, even if we're vegetarians (outside the tropics, living year-round as a vegetarian is only possible thanks to modern technology so our predatory instincts are still fresh and vivid in an evolutionary sense). Sure, hunters and those who live on a farm will chime in and tell us how they are still directly and viscerally connected to the whole process but they're now in the minority and so are the exceptions that prove the general rule.

I'm not sure what to do about it other than to acknowledge its existence and try to channel it into safe outlets, if possible. Maybe for a subsequent trip try going out to the woods somewhere nice and remote all by yourself and go big again and see if those feelings return. And if they do, dive into them and follow them to their root; let your teeth turn to fangs and your claws grow out and embrace it for a bit to see where it takes you. If you find it then it might also reveal what you should do about it, if anything. Depending on the persona you want to cultivate for yourself, a trip like that might be a consequence of a conflict between your desired persona and your actual person. That is, if in an intellectual sense you see yourself as or seek to embody a peaceful, non-predatory and non-violent being and are trying to repress what is commonly thought of as "darker" aspects of our Self without confronting them directly then it seems to me like it'd set the stage for a rather intense internal conflict/confrontation eventually. And when those kinds of internal conflicts happen while we're on high doses of mushrooms our instincts always kick the shit out of our intellect, at least in my experience. But when our intellect is strong it can put up one Hell of a fight (emphasis on Hell), as you know.

This is all just speculation, of course. It might be way off, but it's intuitively compelling to me at the moment. It may also be that such a trip means it's time to lay off psychedelics for a while, maybe permanently. That's why I'd take my next trip solo somewhere remote if I were you, and not bring any sharp objects (FWIW, that's my standard trip procedure for all the large doses of fungi I've taken for about the past 5 years or so no matter what my state of mind or previous trip was like).
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#27 usagolden

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Posted 02 April 2013 - 10:25 AM

those woodlovers can be a rough ride, dood!
never found them to be a particularly lighthearted, fluffy time
usually all business
must be that extra baeocystin
[h=1][/h]glad all ended well

#28 SpiritMolecule

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Posted 02 April 2013 - 01:29 PM

I've had trips like that. But then, I'm a weird guy...at the end of it, I look back and say "MAN THAT WAS AWESOME!!!".....I love being terrified and then seeing that it's all okay.

#29 dpwishy

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Posted 02 April 2013 - 03:43 PM

I knew this would be my last trip if I didnt get right back on the horse.
I never back to back trip,
I always space and integrate before consuming again.
But I knew if I waited to long, I would never take them again.
The fear was that great.
I let the fear consume me for a week and then I faced it.
I ate 1 g's of cyans and 3.5 g's of cubes.
This was a week after it happened.
The bad trip was on January 27th.

I had a good communion with the spirit of the mushroom.
It help me understand what I went through,
and also allowed me to see it in a new light.
I was kind of upset with my self for not taking the proper precautions.
I have done this for a decade and know the rituals I need to do before hand.
I didn't preform a single one. Plain and simple, I got cocky.
I let my guard down for one second and was shown why that can NEVER happen.
Maybe these precautions may not matter on smaller doses,
but a dose like that its 100% necessary.

In divine friendship,
your brother,
-wishy

#30 jimboyia

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Posted 03 April 2013 - 10:07 AM

Hectic trip, the worst kind, where you question your sanity in a fundamental way. It's good you come out with the positives and a dog. I did a trip a few weeks ago - nothing major, just 35g fresh Maz but both my cat and my dog would not leave my side. I'm not so sure about the cat's motives but the dog was for sure looking out for me. I guess he didn't need to but he was there anyway, even when I was dancing like a loon.

I have no doubt that other "beings" exist on a different vibrational plane and it's entirely likely that they can influence what happens on our 3 dimensional (4, if you include space-time) physical plane. They don't have any specific morality so far as I can tell. Your existence on this plane is utterly meaningless to them.

If you haven't read Carlos Castaneda's "Teachings of Don Juan" then you should do it, if only to read about what happened to him when he took datura & mushrooms. I know that his work has been widely discredited but reading about your experience immediately reminded me of Castaneda's.

#31 darci

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Posted 06 April 2013 - 10:40 AM

I am so glad that no harmful acts were committed in this case. Many people have said to always trip with someone sober nearby who knows what you're up to. Just in case. I think it's good advice.

I have had one trip with a successful grow of pans. The character of the trip was stunningly beautiful, tranquil, and serene. And these little umbrellas were remarkably potent.

Every human being has their limits. I think for a brief while, you were forced to cross that line and stood in bitter awe of the emotional landscape you found. It's out there, inside all of us, but thankfully for most it is out of reach.

It isn't the mushroom's "fault" ... my intuition warns me every time of their potential. I'm sure you know how powerful this medicine can be. You just have to be careful and have provisions in place if things get out of hand.

I've been to the nightmare realms. Nowadays, I don't go for large doses any more. 60 grams of aya vine + 1g cubensis takes me just about exactly where I want to go. I'm seeking a gentle voice to guide me, not the gaping maw of the cosmic abyss.

Why something with such beautiful potential can turn south, I don't know. All I can say is like every other tool of power, you have to wield it with care and responsibility. One thing I know for sure, the potential power of the mushroom's teaching is so immense that human beings will not find the end of it in a million years. Perhaps you graduated and were promoted to the next level, where you face the meaning of death, the power you have regarding free will, and the power to kill. It may have been a lesson in understanding, but in a classroom you simply weren't ready for.

When reading about all the thoughts of violence and killing, it makes me remember one trip I had that was just absolutely full of erotic thoughts. Just so much sexy, nasty fucking and shoving and licking going on all over the place. After I came down I remember I couldn't stop masturbating for days. It was like the mushroom poked a hole in the dam that was holding back so much water, and then the dam just completely broke. I was basically molesting myself at every opportunity. I would go to the bathroom during work just to get off. After that whole episode, I kind of regained a healthy balance over my sex drive which didn't exist before, and was needed and necessary.

In light of this, I might suggest to you that you need an outlet to get out your violent man-energy. Something like taking up boxing or wrestling or martial arts. Maybe you've been suppressing this energy believing you needed to so that everyone around you would be safe, when in fact you haven't come to understand WHY this energy exists, what to make of it, what to do with it, what it is meant for. If you can sort these issues out, I think you will find yourself feeling much safer from violent energy whenever you trip again.


Again, I am soooooooo glad nothing physically bad happened in this case.
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#32 MycoDani

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Posted 06 April 2013 - 11:11 AM

This is a good lesson and is important for people to read. With mushrooms I believe they unlock doors we didn't even know we had or have suppressed. The fruits can test us to limits we never even knew we had. I'm glad you tripped again after I would get back on the horse as well because I do believe each trip is a lesson.

Your such a peace loving person it makes sense that the "darkness" would try to mess with you. I'm glad you got through it and shared this. It's important people know the good and bad that can happen unexpectedly with these magical fruits. Nothing but good vibes!:meditate:

~Dani
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#33 bigjimmy

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Posted 06 April 2013 - 11:17 AM

I am so glad that no harmful acts were committed in this case. Many people have said to always trip with someone sober nearby who knows what you're up to. Just in case. I think it's good advice.

I have had one trip with a successful grow of pans. The character of the trip was stunningly beautiful, tranquil, and serene. And these little umbrellas were remarkably potent.

Every human being has their limits. I think for a brief while, you were forced to cross that line and stood in bitter awe of the emotional landscape you found. It's out there, inside all of us, but thankfully for most it is out of reach.

It isn't the mushroom's "fault" ... my intuition warns me every time of their potential. I'm sure you know how powerful this medicine can be. You just have to be careful and have provisions in place if things get out of hand.

I've been to the nightmare realms. Nowadays, I don't go for large doses any more. 60 grams of aya vine + 1g cubensis takes me just about exactly where I want to go. I'm seeking a gentle voice to guide me, not the gaping maw of the cosmic abyss.

Why something with such beautiful potential can turn south, I don't know. All I can say is like every other tool of power, you have to wield it with care and responsibility. One thing I know for sure, the potential power of the mushroom's teaching is so immense that human beings will not find the end of it in a million years. Perhaps you graduated and were promoted to the next level, where you face the meaning of death, the power you have regarding free will, and the power to kill. It may have been a lesson in understanding, but in a classroom you simply weren't ready for.

When reading about all the thoughts of violence and killing, it makes me remember one trip I had that was just absolutely full of erotic thoughts. Just so much sexy, nasty fucking and shoving and licking going on all over the place. After I came down I remember I couldn't stop masturbating for days. It was like the mushroom poked a hole in the dam that was holding back so much water, and then the dam just completely broke. I was basically molesting myself at every opportunity. I would go to the bathroom during work just to get off. After that whole episode, I kind of regained a healthy balance over my sex drive which didn't exist before, and was needed and necessary.

In light of this, I might suggest to you that you need an outlet to get out your violent man-energy. Something like taking up boxing or wrestling or martial arts. Maybe you've been suppressing this energy believing you needed to so that everyone around you would be safe, when in fact you haven't come to understand WHY this energy exists, what to make of it, what to do with it, what it is meant for. If you can sort these issues out, I think you will find yourself feeling much safer from violent energy whenever you trip again.


Again, I am soooooooo glad nothing physically bad happened in this case.



I must spread rep...

What a great, insightful post Darci.

#34 drmcnasty

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Posted 06 April 2013 - 12:33 PM

I'm sorry that you went through this man. I have been waiting for this post since you mentioned it in another thread. I believe you hit the nail on the head when you said you got cocky. I have had some rough rides and possibly what some would consider bad trips but I haven't viewed any as bad. Over the almost thirty years i have been using psychedelics I have had to guide many people out of dark places. The connection to all of these experiences is the same. I am not saying that a 2.5g dose of pans is a small dose but in your case it is smaller than you usually do and you get lax about it. Some may see dosage as a pissing contest but I guess it depends on what the purpose of your trip is. For me its a lot easier to let go of my current "reality" to enjoy a different on on higher doses so i don't whole trip trying to hang on to a bullshit idea of reality. Higher doses i wad that shit up, throw it in the trash and move on. This philosophy definitely isn't for everyone but it makes my experience the way i want it. The key to it all is respect and as soon as you lose that you can expect a rude awakening. I wouldn't wish your experience on anyone although i see many people that have it coming. You are a true warrior man.

#35 Arathu

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Posted 06 April 2013 - 03:43 PM

It certainly sounds to me like you have much more than a passing or superficial set of experiences and skills in this area so I'll just post what has been evoked in my consciousness and emotions from this thread and posts.
I have a Germanic (Indo-European actually) Heathen's worldview which I deliberately embrace (most of this is simple metaphor) but behind it seems to be mysterious truths. Not that it means anything to you.



  • To be a "god" is a very difficult thing
  • Every act ever committed, all of the memories, all of the experiences, almost all of my wyrd comes from the very long line of my ancestors
  • Such things are carried forward in my DNA and obviously that of my offspring (the poor fools)
  • There are comparatively several orders of magnitude (likely many) more things unconscious than conscious
  • Waking consciousness is a flickering screen play turned on periodically when we wake up
  • Personal beliefs start with the act of cellular division and differentiation, continuing through to the breathing of air at birth and onward
  • Most of these are things of the unconsciousness and are difficult to access in the conscious images
  • Odin and Loki are blood brothers and likely represent consciousness and unconsciousness in the mythology of the ancients not just for entertainment purposes
  • Watching TV is not harmless
  • The Earth of which we are very intimate components is made of a complex crystal lattice that remembers everything
  • Mushrooms make dirt for the earth (so I do not find it surprising that the ideas of hastening and increasing the dirt through death)
  • Human speech is not the only means of communication nor is it the only indicator of sentience
  • "Languages" are simply means of information exchanges so the "voices" that come seem to indicate a connection (the plants, animals, minerals, elementals, and etc are connected to these "voices" all the time)
  • Humans have only recently "forgotten" these things
  • The entire universe is probably conscious and could be viewed as "god"
  • We are not any more than a complex molecule on the grand scale outwards and yet we are infinitely complex with access to the entire universe by inward journey
  • I have been in the real world situations of humans killing humans and your fears are well founded and served you very well
  • NEVER skimp on the preparations
  • The tools of magic and the spiritual realms are sacred for very good reasons


I would love to sit down in the stone circle and continue this discussion and active exploration with you folks. But alas the universe has seen fit to provide us with the internet, and Zen, as partial means to the never ending conversations......................... :hugs:

I can offer little more to you than I am glad it turned out well, share very similar experiences especially with woodlovers but will likely join you this year with the pans as well.

Sending out great vibes of understanding, harmony, and peace to all of you!

:hippie:

#36 Justintime

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 07:05 AM

Once while tripping on a six gram dose of cubes I could hear at least six voices chattering but in the background i could hear two very angry men shouting, I called arch angel Micheal and asked him to take them away. Within seconds they were gone.

A friend of mine became possesed after eating a shroom a dark shadow came from his bathroom and flew onto him, he smelt like rotten meat and his face changed , his girlfriend read the bible to him for a few days until it left him.

Call on Arch angel Micheal, he deals with the demonic.

#37 Fenix

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 01:25 PM

Very grateful for sharing this.
Scary shit......been there, but fortunatly not this scary.


Since I'm becomming more spiritual by the minute it seem, I wonder if there are anny common rituals/mantra's or other practices you people would like to share, that could protect you from bad entitys?

#38 max911

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 02:22 PM

The worst trip I ever had was 2.5-3 grams of Pans. I had never done them before and will never do them again. That's not to say they aren't great for someone else. Pans are an entirely different experience all together. It took me a year after the bad Pan trip to try shrooms again. Thanks for sharing.

#39 dpwishy

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 07:09 PM

So, I left this part out because I thought it was too "out there",
but this really happened and I wanted to share this.

Once I beat this and the entity left,
I got the complete opposite polarity.
I knew in every cell of my body that I was Christ,
I was not Jesus the Christ,
But I was me as the consciousness of Christ.
There is a reason he was called Jesus THE CHRIST.
I believe Christ is a consciousness and our most pure and absolute form.

When this left the polarity changed completely and I knew I was Christ.
I could stop laughing, uncontrollably.
I knew without a doubt that I could turn water into wine.
I thought this was the funniest thing ever!
I just stopped drinking 4 months before this,
now I have the ability to turn water into wine?
Oh man, that killed me. I shared a laugh with God.

My fiance asked me to try it out,
to turn the water into wine.
But I wouldn't do it, I knew I could, I knew it, but I wouldnt.
There was a Knowing from the core of my being that just knew,
you don't show off these powers for show, that's abuse.
But I knew at my core that I could do ANYTHING.

When I declined this, my fire place started to have a fire.
I said out loud without even thinking,
"thats the same fire moses talked too".
At this point my fiance and I are freaking out,
the fire place was not going before this,
now its completely a blaze.
Flames and lights were gleaming from the cracks in the door,
it looked like it was FULL of wood and burning.
My fiance asked me to open it and look but I couldn't,
for some reason I was so in awe, I was afraid to look.
We have talked about it a lot sense,
we believe their was a symbol in their if we opened it.
A symbol that could have changed us forever,
I kind of wish I opened it up and took a look.

The great realization of this all for me was this;
If you know at your core that you can do something,
without any doubt what so ever,
thats when manifestation is possible.
Its a knowing I cant explain or have never felt.
I just KNEW I could do it,
and I realized that its that knowing that accomplishes it.
Normally we always have some sort of logical doubt lingering somewhere,
this is what stops us from creating.
I think creating the first time is the hard part,
but once you create and can see it, the games over.
The absolute knowing that will accompany it will change you forever.

In divine friendship,
your brother,
-wishy

Edited by dpwishy, 28 May 2013 - 08:28 PM.


#40 the.seed

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Posted 04 June 2013 - 06:06 PM

I've been thinking about your experience for a few days now and want to express my appreciation to you for sharing. I have learned more from this thread (and everyone's response to it) then I have from anywhere else on this site.

You're in to some powerful stuff there brother. Glad you made it through to live and fight another day. Sending nothing but good vibes your way!
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