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Chapters a changin'


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#1 ams1992

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Posted 05 January 2014 - 07:55 PM

Hey all, 

 

I'm still around. Figured I'd let you guys know that. Been really introspective lately, the weather being the coldest in 20 years hasn't really benefited with being much else. Anyways, it's a New Year, and you're my family. To start off this year I'm pretty pleased. One of my recent songs had been promoted on YouTube and reached over 1,000 views in a matter of 2-3 days. That's never happened. Most who have experienced my music even in a few months time span has been around 300. Blows me away. I'm really excited about it. What I'm writing here though are resolutions. Self improvement, as well as environmental and social improvement. This year I plan to:

 

Eat healthier. Damn most of those sugars, and likely many meats as well. It's veggies, fruits, smoothies, juices, water, and nuts from here on out.

 

Exercise more. With as scrawny as I am, if I climbed a tree I'd probably blend in. No more of that, time to actually gain some muscle and quit being so unmotivated.

 

Go outdoors. Of course not in -25 degree weather, but when that sun starts shining and the bitter cold departs, I'll be saying hello to the forestry, and depending if I've done anything that day, it may say hello back.

 

Write my album and its companions. I enjoy inspiring people. People seem to enjoy my music. Music = Inspiration, and when I'm not writing it and just thinking of writing it well... = Frustration.

 

Tolerance and less Human Stress. I'm not a number and I don't need many dollar bills. Just want to be happy. I'm going to start saving more than spending, and get myself that small place I've been dreaming about.

 

Deal with only those who genuinely love and care. I'm not a therapist. If I was one, well... You'd likely not be my client if I needed time off and you insulted me. I need to avoid drama and live life, that's what it's here for, to live.

 

Meditate. I've had some profound experiences, and once I'm healthier I can only expect they'll improve. If not, hey, at least I'm in a nice headspace. 

 

So how 'bout it Topia, what's up this year?


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#2 Coopdog

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Posted 05 January 2014 - 08:16 PM

I have had a rough start to this year. After dealing with infection after infection from my bad teeth, I finally got them all removed in mid Dec, and followed with a very serious antibiotic resistant infection that really took some life out of me thru the holidays. Been dealing with the mental damage of having all my teeth removed and losing my ability to sing and whistle well. Can't wear my dentures because they make my gag reflex go off, can't talk right and feel very self conscious singing.

 

For a guy whose life has started to revolve around music this has really taken a mental toll on me and has hurt my soul a lot more than I anticipated it would. Maybe it is just the lack of vitality right now, and I am hoping it will improve as I regain my health.

 

I have been focusing on going back to basics with my guitar skills and been pounding out scales and basic picking practice to better be able to express myself through my guitar and hopefully reinforce my self esteem that way. I know it sounds ridiculous to be mourning my ability to whistle but I was a guy who whistled all day long and got a lot of joy out of it. I keep trying to do it but that and my enunciation for singing are gone and I got to readjust to my new self.

 

Anyhow this is the first time I have voiced this out loud, cuz it seems such a stupid thing to be wrapped up about, but been having a very hard mental time as of late and since you asked...there it is. lol I think I need to console myself with a new guitar at income tax time lol

 

Hell I think a good musical acid trip might fix me right up :)

 

Peace ams and it has been really cool to see your music taking off like it is. Rock on brotha!


Edited by Coopdog, 05 January 2014 - 08:17 PM.

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#3 ams1992

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Posted 05 January 2014 - 08:40 PM

I have had a rough start to this year. After dealing with infection after infection from my bad teeth, I finally got them all removed in mid Dec, and followed with a very serious antibiotic resistant infection that really took some life out of me thru the holidays. Been dealing with the mental damage of having all my teeth removed and losing my ability to sing and whistle well. Can't wear my dentures because they make my gag reflex go off, can't talk right and feel very self conscious singing.

 

For a guy whose life has started to revolve around music this has really taken a mental toll on me and has hurt my soul a lot more than I anticipated it would. Maybe it is just the lack of vitality right now, and I am hoping it will improve as I regain my health.

 

I have been focusing on going back to basics with my guitar skills and been pounding out scales and basic picking practice to better be able to express myself through my guitar and hopefully reinforce my self esteem that way. I know it sounds ridiculous to be mourning my ability to whistle but I was a guy who whistled all day long and got a lot of joy out of it. I keep trying to do it but that and my enunciation for singing are gone and I got to readjust to my new self.

 

Anyhow this is the first time I have voiced this out loud, cuz it seems such a stupid thing to be wrapped up about, but been having a very hard mental time as of late and since you asked...there it is. lol I think I need to console myself with a new guitar at income tax time lol

 

Hell I think a good musical acid trip might fix me right up :)

 

Peace ams and it has been really cool to see your music taking off like it is. Rock on brotha!

 

Brother, 

 

I can't say I know what it's like, but I can say I have reservation with singing myself. I have a deep voice. Far deeper than most expect when they see me. I have a very good range in my voice, but I cannot sing in front of people. My voice wavers, it cracks, my nerves consume me and I've been this way for as long as I can remember. It's taken me years to even gain enough comfort to sing in the car amongst my family, and I do so quite quietly. Thats one of the reasons my music is without voice, but beyond that my friend, music speaks and sings for itself. I like to think of music without lyrics as a pure expression of soul, emotion, and experience. It's the musicians art, and it's the listeners canvas. They create as they will, and you write as you've been or are, or wish to be. Singing is a great joy, but Coop my friend, you have a beautiful soul full of much to offer. If you cannot use your voice in a way you once did, you'll likely learn to use it in another way, or you'll express in another musical form. Guitar is a fantastic way to do so. I'm glad you're feeling better and that you released that. I wish for you an excellent recovery and much joy in whatever pursuit you follow. Rock on to you too my friend  :biggrin:


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#4 1967FordTitus

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Posted 05 January 2014 - 10:10 PM

Sorry, not meaning to intrude. I however have suffered great loss. In the span of five years, as the result of grave illness, and in order to save my life, I underwent many surgeries and treatments. I am an artist, I have been suffering many vision problems. I lost both legs in the past two years. My teeth are falling out, and will soon be pulled. Too many cancer surgeries and treatments....

Anyway, to hopefully allow myself an outlet to express myself, I have been learning to play the bass with as much intensity as I put into my paintings. And, yes, I still paint. A creative person well find, and develop ways to express themselves, IMO.

Don't give up, only you can do what you do, so to speak. If you stop, no one will miss what you do not create. Except for you.
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#5 Coopdog

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Posted 05 January 2014 - 10:56 PM

Thanks Titus. I am already trying to change my focus and develop in new directions. Dunno why I been so hung up over it and realize it could be a lot worse. Thank you anyhow and I will adapt improvise and overcome!


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#6 1967FordTitus

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Posted 05 January 2014 - 11:14 PM

You can do it, Coopdog, there are many 'self image' issues to work through. Please, let me know if I can help.
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#7 ams1992

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Posted 05 January 2014 - 11:30 PM

You are both awesome people, proud to call you friends and family, just like all my friends and family here on Topia. One of a kind place. Coop, perhaps your signature applies as well :) I know it's helped me on more than one occasion when I was struggling. I'm sending you some loving vibes brother. Titus, very inspiring as too. Glad to hear your recoveries led you to where you are. Sometimes it's difficult to adapt. Artists never lose their art though, just find new ways to express it when the old ways are no longer. Much love all, I'm off to bed for now.  :hug:


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#8 Coopdog

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Posted 08 March 2014 - 01:21 PM

I had almost forgotten this post. I been learning to find my voice despite the enunciation issues I have had. Feeling much better about it all now and learning to adapt to my new reality. The music goes on! :)


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#9 bugs

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Posted 09 March 2014 - 01:16 PM

AMS, guess I've been missing your posts. It's good to hear that you're taking the bull by the horns. Life changes are hard. By the way, how do I find you on YouTube?

 

Coop and Titus, you dudes've been through some shit. Best wishes, good vibes etc.






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