30 replies to this topic

[peacefrog]

Interesting.

[torn2bits]

Hash-man , that's a
nice lil tool there man looks like it does the trick in a hurry.
Kinda make my beard Nervous a lil ...hahaha.

[TVCasualty]

If you have a lawnmower that collects the clippings in a bag you could always lay out a row of straw a couple of inches deep on a patch of grass you raked clean of other crap, mow over it until the bag is full, dump the bag and continue until it's all shredded. Laying the straw out along some pavement (such as a driveway or sidewalk) works well too. Laying it on a tarp does not, unless you like shredded tarp.

 

Sometimes it needs a second mowing, and that's a simple matter of dumping the bag back out and running over the straw again. No modification of the mower is necessary (for our purposes). The guy shredding hay is using the hay for feeding livestock so he has to make sure it stays clean and doesn't end up with any noxious weeds or bits of gravel in it (or anything other than hay). For growing fungi that's not an issue so we don't need to go to the trouble (and end up with another large object that needs to be stored somewhere and would look kind of odd in most garages whereas a lawnmower is just a lawnmower.

 

If you have or if your neighbor has one of those nice big riding models with the giant bag or a trailer for the clippings you can do a whole bale in one pass, and I got a neighbor to shred all my straw for me while I was renting the place next door and he never knew I was growing mushrooms.

 

I planted a small token veggie garden and mulched it with shredded straw and told him I'd lay out all the straw from a couple of bales in my yard if he'd mow over it all and I gave him as much shredded straw he and his wife needed to mulch their flower beds, which they began doing after I bored them to tears talking about organic gardening and the wonders of mulch. As long as the neighbors have a category in their heads that you fit neatly into then they won't be wondering what you're up to and "organic gardening/eco-geek/preacher of green-tech" is a great one IMO (especially if you look/dress slightly outside the norm, or even WAY outside the norm in some cases).

 

Anything strange they see you doing in your yard is "some kind of organic gardening thing," and any inquiries about what you're up to will stop once they realize any question they ask you will be answered in excruciating technical detail and with the same passionate intensity that street preachers have when they proselytize about their preferred transcendental object of worship. So if they want to know what that pile of stuff in a shady corner of your yard is, don't just say "compost," give them a detailed lecture about aerobic vs. anaerobic decomposition, the role of thermophilic microorganisms/actinomycetes and anything else you can think of yammering on about until their eyes glaze over and they regret asking and start checking their watches.

 

If you train your neighbors well, you can bring home all sorts of strange contraptions and while you're unloading one (always in broad daylight on a weekday) they'll all be hiding in their houses out of fear that you'll make eye contact and just start explaining what it is to them in more detail than anyone wants to hear.

[TurkeyRanch]

What a great thing to read first thing in the morning TV, heh thanks. I too have used similar methods, especially when I was still living in suburbia and didn't look very conventional no matter how hard I tried. Dreadlocks + no job + nice car and house = suspicious neighbors. I tried this with neighbors a few years back, until I found out the ones on my left were ok, he went to school for a double major in organic chemistry and ethnobotany (heh), and his wife worked at Fungi Perfecti. I eventually let them come over. We traded lab glass.

Thankfully now I am in the middle of nowhere, and if someone comes down the driveway it is a "holy shit, who is that, where is my pistol" situation, it is kinda rare to get company. I think I scared the living hell out of the UPS guy the other night, but he must be at least kinda used to being greeted with a strobing tactical flashlight and an aggressive "stop right there! Who the fuck is that?"

Much better out here, I can be as weird as I would like and nobody is around to wonder want I am up to.

I still like the law mower over the barrel idea, probably much easier (not to mention safer).

Edited by TurkeyRanch, 26 January 2015 - 10:03 AM.

[TVCasualty]

Thankfully now I am in the middle of nowhere, and if someone comes down the driveway it is a "holy shit, who is that, where is my pistol" situation, it is kinda rare to get company. I think I scared the living hell out of the UPS guy the other night, but he must be at least kinda used to being greeted with a strobing tactical flashlight and an aggressive "stop right there! Who the fuck is that?"

 

Yeah, I scared the hell out of the county Tax Assessor once when I lived in the boonies and I didn't even mean to (seriously!). I didn't know who he was until I got to his truck, which I followed down the road past our property to the neighbors' vacation cabin (since I knew he wasn't the owner and we had our ongoing poacher problem). When he got out of his truck at the gate by the cabin I was standing right behind him and said "Hello!" with as friendly a tone as I could muster towards a Tax Assessor (but he still jumped a foot off the ground).

 

He was probably startled because I had to run about a half-mile down a gravel road that had no one else living on it to catch up to him. It only took me 1/4 mile to catch him (I was a mountain bike guide at the time so I could run pretty fast) and I stayed one bend in the road behind him so he wouldn't see me. When he stopped I jogged the last 100 yards or so as he got out of his truck, so to him it probably seemed like I suddenly appeared right out of nowhere (as was my intention). A couple of years of dealing with armed poachers at night inspired me to learn how to jog or run almost totally silently, plus I was wearing some heavy-duty custom-made leather moccasins made by a guy from the Tracker School I met while attending classes.

 

If the military issued mocs to combat units, they'd be like the pair I was wearing. They were designed "scout" style (the Apache kind, not the Boy kind) so the laces were behind the ankle to prevent their snagging on brush or whatever while stalking (a nice detail). If you ever need to move totally silently over almost any terrain and leave no tracks visible to anyone except the most well-trained and experienced trackers then get some properly-made moccasins!

 

 

And if you don't like surprise guests, I've used and would highly recommend the Chamberlain brand of driveway sensors; they transmit up to a half-mile (under ideal, line-of-sight conditions) and one base station can handle multiple sensors (most sources say they can handle 8; I don't know why the picture only says 4). Each sensor has it's own # of beeps so you can set #1 (1-beep) at the furthest point down your road/driveway (either at your property line or the limit of the sensor range) then put #2 (2-beeps) further up your road or driveway, then #3 (3-beeps) up a bit further and so on. That way you minimize wildlife false-alarms and can tell how fast someone is approaching your house.

 

This is the type I'm referring to, which I chose over the buried inductive sensor-type so it'd detect pedestrians, too (another nice feature is that if you angle it right it almost never beeps when someone exits, which is usually unnecessary):

http://www.amazon.co.../dp/B002ISVJL6/

 

And with that device I was finally able to avoid any unpleasant surprises rolling up my driveway, especially when I was engaged in "stealth" straw-shredding with my really loud, really old electric chipper (too loud for using in urban/suburban settings).

 

I figured I ought to segue back to the original topic so in case anyone reading this was considering going big and buying one of those electric leaf shredders that are basically weedeaters mounted in barrels, DON'T; they suck and are a complete waste of money unless you're only shredding dry leaves.

 

DO get an electric wood chipper with sturdy metal blades instead; one pass does the trick and a whole bale can be shredded to perfection in 1/2 hour or so, plus they break-up and shred dry, rock-hard chunks of horse poop to the perfect consistency and turns  2-3" dia sticks into chips for when you want to explore edible or psychedelic species that grow off wood.

[TurkeyRanch]

I use a cheapo brand that does the same thing, it is how I had time to find my, um, guest interception gear.




When I lived next door to some people I had good reason to worry would try and rob me (long story) I used a bunch of alarm indicator traps. For instance, I set a board on my porch with a keychain alarm, so it would go off if someone stepped on it. Found a pic of the exact product I used:



I also rigged them onto my gates, and made a few tripwires attached to them. Basically pulling the pin out of the device sets off a 120 decibel ear splitting alarm.


I have to get me a pair of moccasins, sounds like something need, but didn't know it until just now.

Sorry to drag the thread so far off topic!

[Microbe]

I spread my straw out in the driveway and use my lawnmower with a mulching blade, which is pretty much standard on most walk behind mowers now a days, the only thing that sucked was the bagger would fill up quick and.i would have to turn the mower off but it sure beat the hell out of the first way i did it, a dull pair of safety scissors, the kind my 3rd old uses in preschool!

[peacefrog]

Yea I allways wanted to try a lawn mower with a bag but never bought one. I just use a large heavy duty trash can with a weed eater. It's a little time consuming as well but I hear you, it's better then scissors. I remember those days as well. Took a lot longer and I was left with blisters and sore hands.

[TVCasualty]

[FYI: About 2/3 through writing this reply I realized I was MUCH more stondeder than I thought; for what it's worth, "Agent Orange" is a really good strain of one-hit-quit herb (so next time I'll stop at 4, lol). Anyway, that should explain any peculiarities in the content of my reply that are more peculiar than usual]

 

I spread my straw out in the driveway and use my lawnmower with a mulching blade, which is pretty much standard on most walk behind mowers now a days, the only thing that sucked was the bagger would fill up quick and.i would have to turn the mower off but it sure beat the hell out of the first way i did it, a dull pair of safety scissors, the kind my 3rd old uses in preschool!

 

In attempting to keep it as clean as possible, one method that's been tried is mowing over straw that's been spread out on a tarp that's been carefully pinned to the ground with large improvised staples made from foot-long pieces of fence wire bent into U-shapes. 

 

It's a method that makes a spectacular mess faster than most people would think is possible. And by 'spectacular' I don't mean it's size so much as the awesome degree of inscrutable complexity it can manifest in less time than it takes the mower to stop after you let go of the nanny-handle. Or so I've heard.   

 

Anyway, that tangled-up outcome assumes you don't use a large plastic squeeze-clamp to override the nanny-handle, in which case you're in for a very long day filled with disentanglement (if you don't end up on an improvised Easter egg hunt for your toes first, that is; the damned things almost never conveniently end up in the bag). The mow-over-straw-on-a-tarp fiasco is something a small percentage of mushroom growers or other assorted and sundry shady straw-shredders who weren't warned explore once (much like the folks who try eating a colonized BRF cake but end up only shitting gritty glitter).

 

But mowing next to a tarp or tarps that have been set up to catch the straw coming out of the side chute works great.

 

If your mower lacks that option, an angle grinder or reciprocating saw can "fix" it (or "tear it a new one" if you prefer). The down-side is that to be able to use the bag again you have to make a sturdy cover over your "hacked" mowers' new hole that's also easy/simple to attach and remove, which can be a real tough design problem (but I particularly enjoy hardware hacks that involve literal hacking, i.e. chopping -or grinding- away bits of stuff off of something to make it work like something else, so it's worth it).

 

You need to hold the tarp(s) down with something heavy; a few rocks or bricks or big pieces of lumber is plenty (if the mower blows the edge over, add more). Laying the tarp along a fence makes it simple to tie or tack one edge of the tarp up high or near the top of the fence to catch everything but the fine dust, even if you're using a massive riding mower that blasts the straw out the side. A 10' wide tarp (any length you need) is ideal; tack one edge ~5' up on the fence and the other extends 5' out along the ground and you'll catch all the straw unless it's windy (be sure you don't let the deck of the mower wander over any part of the tarp or the mower will slurp it up faster than you can say "FUCK!"). And it will be windy. You'll see: It'll be dead-calm while you're setting everything up but the moment you start mowing you'll feel the first gust (it's uncanny, and the same thing happens whenever I work with 4X8 sheets of insulation, grrrr...).

 

Oh, and straw can get really rough to work with (especially if you inhale the dust) so whenever shredding it or handling a lot of loose straw (if it's still dry) always wear gloves, long pants, long sleeve shirts and a particulate respirator or mask (the disposable filter kind, not the Halloween kind).

[Microbe]

That ^ my friend is a literary masterpiece! I just simply had my brother throw it out and i pushed the mower over it and then when it was full i emptied the bagger into a 96 qt toter trashcan the kind sanitation companys supply with you with. It took maybe an hour if that but my neighbors were curious so still today i take a handful every now and then while neighbors are out and toss it at the base of the tree as if im feeding it to something. Fucking hilarious watching them look up into my tree trying to find what im feeding straw too while the whole time what.im really feeding it to is in my closet. I already like to mess with them by walking with my hands, yep, late 30's and i can still do a hand stand and even walk a short distance. I have the neighbors that wont make eye contact with me because im sleeved out with tats. They are good people, but i cant resist it. If they really knew me they would think im an ok dude. Dang how did i get here? Where am i? WTF was i just saying? And why? ;)

[TVCasualty]

OK, I'm a lot soberer now, which I'll fix after finishing my reply (this time).
 

I use a cheapo brand that does the same thing, it is how I had time to find my, um, guest interception gear.

When I lived next door to some people I had good reason to worry would try and rob me (long story) I used a bunch of alarm indicator traps. For instance, I set a board on my porch with a keychain alarm, so it would go off if someone stepped on it.
 
I also rigged them onto my gates, and made a few tripwires attached to them. Basically pulling the pin out of the device sets off a 120 decibel ear splitting alarm.

I find that hilarious (ain't guerrilla warfare fun?) because I would 'gear up' whenever unannounced guests arrived and I even made a trip-wire alarm, too! Do you ever intercept with just your gear? As in, naked except for slip-on footwear, a spotlight, and a firearm of your choice? Successful defense in dicey situations is often a function of response time, and that often precludes luxuries like putting on pants (mind the briars...).

I guess hittin' the woods presents many universal challenges, from the little details that can kill everyone in the village if we neglect to address them ("What are we gonna do about all our poop since we lack indoor plumbing?!") all the way up to  the most profound existential questions that face us all ("Gosh, that 300-pound black bear we're suddenly standing less than 10 feet from looks kinda hungry, and here I am completely unarmed like a total woods-noob (which I was at the time) and the bear is clearly not afraid of us AND the nearest bear-resistant (not "proof") shelter is ~300 yards away over difficult terrain, so the Big Question is: Should I stand my ground and make a lot of noise like I'm supposed to until she decides not to eat us and leaves (we saw her with cubs a few months later so I knew it was female) OR should I make a crypto-Darwinian break for it and try to outrun whoever else happens to be around?" (which almost certainly would've been my girlfriend; "You know I love ya babe, but that's a big hungry bear so onyourmarkgetsetGO!"

The bear encounter actually happened, but I was by myself at the time working on lashing saplings together with poly bailing twine to make a kitchen/shelter (loved the stuff; we used almost 3 full rolls -which is over 2 miles of twine- in 4 years). Good thing I was alone, too since if it came down to a foot race against my girlfriend then I'd have been bear food for sure (she raced semi-pro on both road and mountain bikes, I just rode a mountain bike way off the back, but at least I had a motivational view to help me up the mountain, lol).
 
The bear(s) raided our sapling-kitchen on a regular basis but never damaged it, and would open, search through, and then close each drawer of an old chest of drawers we were using to store some kitchen stuff (not any food). The claw marks and randomly-rearranged stuff in the drawers clued us in (it was like CSI: BFE!).
 
So one night I set a tripwire alarm at the entrance to the kitchen (since our kitchen was a prudent 200+ yards away from our tent). I used a piezo buzzer, lantern battery, and a clothespin-switch with aluminum-foil contacts. The fishing line tripwire was tied to a stick that separated the contacts; the bear trips the wire which pulls out the stick and activates the alarm (or detonates the "device," depending).
 
So there we were... sleeping peacefully in the tent until we were slowly awakened by a high-pitched wail coming from the direction of the kitchen (our buzzer was nowhere near as loud as your siren). OK, now what?? Well, considering that it was can't-see-your-hand-in-front-of-your-face dark outside, we lived in a tent, we were buck naked, and we could hear the ever-present whine of the dozens and dozens of mosquitoes that gathered by the door waiting to go into a feeding frenzy whenever we left to go take a leak, I just wasn't feeling like opening my can o' naked Rambo whoop-ass. For poachers, it'd be Game-On no matter what, but for a bear? Meh...
 
Neither of us had to take a leak right then and if we investigated the alarm we'd likely encounter a large hungry bear in the dark with nothing sturdy around to retreat to. "Hey,  your alarm is going off; do you want to get up and go check on the kitchen?" Uh, HELL no! Do you? "Nope, not at all." OK, screw it then, I'm going back to sleep. "Mmm-hmm [snooooore]..." We learned two things that night: First, it doesn't take as long as we expect for our brain to adjust to (and block out) annoying noises (like buzzers) so we can go back to sleep. Second, a lantern battery can easily power a small buzzer all goddamned night long.
 

I have to get me a pair of moccasins, sounds like something need, but didn't know it until just now.

 
Yes, you most certainly do. Then comes de-scenting to avoid detection by dogs and the last step is the application of natural camo to avoid visual detection by other people. You are then ready for some real big fun to begin.
 
In the meantime, you can use 100% wool socks (without shoes). Wool socks are almost as good (outside of thorny environs), stay warm when wet, and should the need to scamper over slippery/slimy wet rocks arise they will also give you MUCH better traction than the best hiking boots or river sandals (or bare feet) could ever hope to. But they do wear out real fast.
 
A vital detail is that to be truly silent, the bottoms have to be made of natural hide like the rest of the moccasin (no rubber or other synthetic material). It's less than ideal when the ground is wet and cold since moisture will wick into them, but they still work and you could always wear wool or even waterproof "socks" like SealSkinz (which are great; check outfitters who sell gear for running whitewater).
 

Sorry to drag the thread so far off topic!

 

Wait a minute, what was the topic again?

 

My short-term memory is often ravaged by ...something, but I forgot what it was (just like the topic)!