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#21 Phineas_Carmichael

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 09:41 AM

You're lucky, Alder. My threesome came on the heels of a drunken birthday party I hosted for my partner at the time. After I chased everyone out at the close of the evening I found my partner in bed with another man. They were embarassed & ready for me to rage at them in their nakedness.

I drunkenly said something like "No worries, guys. Nobody belongs to anybody else. I figure if I ever had the chance for a threesome this is it," & we proceeded to give it a try. No discussion, no planning, no nothing.

It was an experience I am glad I had, but not one I am keen to repeat. It destroyed at least 3 relationships; mine with my partner, mine with my good friend of 10 years, & their relationship.

Threesomes are hard...
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#22 Alder Logs

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 09:50 AM

Remember, we are eternal. All this pain is an illusion.

 

 

 

Who is saying, "I want, I want, I want?"  Why? 

 

Does the timeless self really give a shit about our imagined self? 


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#23 Spooner

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 10:01 AM

To quote a man with more class than me...

 

"Why go out for a hamburger when I have steak at home."  -Paul Newman

 

Happily married to Joanne Woodward for 50 years and that is worth a hundred threesomes.


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#24 Akari

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 10:14 AM

I wouldn't be so fucked up by a guy. We are the type of people. She says she's getting there, its just I've been waiting 20 years for this. And its shitty to be taunted with it.

#25 TastyBeverage

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 10:15 AM

It just really is torture to know she was used by so many other men, and fulfilled their fantasies but not mine. 

 

I'd like to point out (and don't take this as combative, please) that this is a pretty selfish and egocentric attitude to have. Your lady is a person with needs and desires that have nothing to do with you and they existed before you met her. Maybe she had those threesomes cause SHE WANTED TO and it felt good in the moment at the time. Why are you making it about those other men? And the fact that you see it as them 'using her' is really pretty insulting to your lady if you stop to think about it.

 

Perhaps if changed your perspective to 'she had threesomes because she is a mature woman who is comfortable enough with her sexuality to do it, and i am glad she had a good experience and it didn't screw up her attitude about sex' then maybe you would show her that YOU are mature enough to consider having that experience with you.


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#26 Spooner

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 10:23 AM

 I've been waiting 20 years for this...

 

 

I never waited 20 years for anything...

 

...short attention span I guess..


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#27 Juthro

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 12:23 PM

My advice is to try and remember your partner is a person with feelings and emotions, not just a tool to allow you to fulfill your fantasies. You would be better suited to put this energy in to improving your relationship. There is always room for improvement.

I also would like to say that if you really enjoy your fantasy, you're better off keeping it in your head then trying to act it out, as I think you will be disappointed by the reality of it.

And yes I have. A drunken camping trip with my partner and her friend. We were all young, and none of us were emotionally mature enough to deal with it well afterword's. It was not magical it was just sex, and it was not worth the jealousy and hard feelings that followed. I did learn from it, but not the lessons I thought I would.

Edit: poor syntax

Edited by Juthro, 25 March 2015 - 12:24 PM.

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#28 fungoliafarms

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 12:59 PM

My answer is very different because i dont have a puritanical view on sex. My partner and myself both really like fulfilling each others fantasies.

If you're gonna try it, be extremely picky. You already have a partner so it's not like you need to get laid. Foster your relationship and see where that takes you.

The only thing i can really add is the dynamics seem to work better with another lady who is mostly into ladies. It becomes weird in a hurry if your third wheel doesn't really dig on your lady.

Edited by fungoliafarms, 25 March 2015 - 01:01 PM.

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#29 Akari

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 01:03 PM

Remember, we are eternal. All this pain is an illusion.

No.
 
 
Who is saying, "I want, I want, I want?"  Why? 
 
Does the timeless self really give a shit about our imagined self?


#30 Akari

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 01:05 PM

It just really is torture to know she was used by so many other men, and fulfilled their fantasies but not mine.

"I wanted to be used" is her exact words.
 
I'd like to point out (and don't take this as combative, please) that this is a pretty selfish and egocentric attitude to have. Your lady is a person with needs and desires that have nothing to do with you and they existed before you met her. Maybe she had those threesomes cause SHE WANTED TO and it felt good in the moment at the time. Why are you making it about those other men? And the fact that you see it as them 'using her' is really pretty insulting to your lady if you stop to think about it.
 
Perhaps if changed your perspective to 'she had threesomes because she is a mature woman who is comfortable enough with her sexuality to do it, and i am glad she had a good experience and it didn't screw up her attitude about sex' then maybe you would show her that YOU are mature enough to consider having that experience with you.


#31 Akari

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 01:07 PM

I messed up the quote. But yeah

#32 Akari

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 01:08 PM

My answer is very different because i dont have a puritanical view on sex. My partner and myself both really like fulfilling each others fantasies.
If you're gonna try it, be extremely picky. You already have a partner so it's not like you need to get laid. Foster your relationship and see where that takes you.
The only thing i can really add is the dynamics seem to work better with another lady who is mostly into ladies. It becomes weird in a hurry if your third wheel doesn't really dig on your lady.

THANK YOU!!!

#33 Juthro

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 01:15 PM

My answer is very different because i dont have a puritanical view on sex. My partner and myself both really like fulfilling each others fantasies.

If you're gonna try it, be extremely picky. You already have a partner so it's not like you need to get laid. Foster your relationship and see where that takes you.

The only thing i can really add is the dynamics seem to work better with another lady who is mostly into ladies. It becomes weird in a hurry if your third wheel doesn't really dig on your lady.


There is absolutely nothing wrong with exploring your sexuality, its a good thing. But the difference here is that you and your partner are in agreement about it. And as you said even with you both being cool with it, it can still get weird if your not carful about picking the third player.
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#34 fungoliafarms

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 01:19 PM

Glad you not only saw what i wrote, but what was implied.

#35 CatsAndBats

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 01:29 PM

This is all I have to say:

 

ALL PARTIES INVOLVED HAVE TO BE 100% INTO IT FOR IT TO "SUCCEED",  and that is pretty rare, usually spontaneous in my experience and observation...

 

In the Philly ghetto we call it "a two piece and a biscuit" and ironically enough, my 2nd one was both white meat and dark meat so to speak.. 


Edited by catattack, 25 March 2015 - 01:29 PM.

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#36 Coopdog

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 01:52 PM

I almost didn't answer this one because I have some fairly strong feelings about it. I think every man wants to experience two women. I also think the most important thing you can do for your partner is to NOT bring anyone else into your bed. I guess if she was totally into it that would be a little different, but my marriage is based on loyalty, and I think something like this despite the fantasy aspect of it could very well derail that perfect 20 year relationship, and man is it really worth all that? Let it go man let it go. Just my two cents worth I guess.


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#37 ethnobotanist420

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 01:58 PM

ALL PARTIES INVOLVED HAVE TO BE 100% INTO IT FOR IT TO "SUCCEED", and that is pretty rare, usually spontaneous in my experience and observation...



also someone may agree and seem to be fully into it but have reservations they are keeping quiet to please you... I can see this being extremely "not good"
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#38 Akari

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 03:15 PM

So you all pretty much suggest a life of sexual repression. Cool. At least one guy can agree with my views. I'm really starting to feel like monogamy is just not for me

#39 Akari

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 03:18 PM

Its really a matter of I missed out. She had a fun sex life while she was single. But I was always the ugly guy in my group. So all the bitches would fuck my friends and not me. Its just an extension of that energy. I will always want to experience this, but just let it go? Fair enough. I hate everything else about this universe anyway

#40 CatsAndBats

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 03:40 PM

So you all pretty much suggest a life of sexual repression. Cool. At least one guy can agree with my views. I'm really starting to feel like monogamy is just not for me

 

I'd like to go on the record as being pro you getting to be in a threesome.

 

Not too difficult.

 

Be in a situation alone with 2 females, introduce some substance (alcohol and/or __________work well) and just start a massage... it WILL happen, just don't force it.

Just keep putting yourself around women that you think might be open to it..

 

monogamy might not be for you right now because it sounds like you've yet to "sow your oats" and you can't be in a relationship while banging a bunch of women (at least not honorably IMO)

 

how old are you may I ask?






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