Paradox
©
Fisana

Jump to content


Photo
* * * * * 1 votes

Dealing with Bipolar Disorder. I'll let this song speak for me.


  • Please log in to reply
28 replies to this topic

#21 wildedibles

wildedibles

    Naturalist

  • OG VIP
  • 8,081 posts

Awards Bar:

Posted 17 April 2015 - 12:37 AM

All the trips have made me look at others different too, and not just myself.

We are all messed up, and I mean every single one of us.

And we have no idea how bad some people are without living in their heads.

Since we cant do that well just gonna have to take their words for it.

 

Neim you're right man some people do need those meds to live no doubt.

But I've come to not want to mess my brain up any worse than it is already.

Sorry its how I feel, once you start big pharm good luck getting away.

I dont want to have to pop a pill every day the rest of my life if it changes the person I am.

I dont want to be a guinea pig till we find what works, while the whole time scrambling my brain

I've smoked pot for 19yr it is my form of medication cause it works for me

The meds work for you though and I'm happy for that!

You just gotta take them now and dont forget a day man cause you know how that goes

 

What I'm about to say may be pointless.

But being one that has been around and seeing some shit.

Some people with serious brain issues should probably stay away from dosing of any kind.

I've wigged out on mush several times, its not just lucy that can twist your brain.

And I've known people to flip shit and never be right from dosing too.

Just play it safe man is all I'm saying,

you never know when that 2gr dose puts your face through the hole in the floor ya know

I am glad when people that need meds fing the right ones and are doing well on them but for me I am one that perscripton meds ..I get thoes weird side effects that happen in a small percentage of people I am the odd ball when it comes to medication

 

I have tried lots of herbals too and find that lemon balm fresh from the garden works well for me all spring

getting out on 40below winter days getting the sun on my face works for the winter

I have been trying 5htp supliments and am liking them but I got one kind that didnt work as well as the other ones so I stopped taking them they were not working the greatest

and I ended up after 2 months felt like crap and needed something so I started taking them again and feeling better

I also use valarian it is a weak one at times but it is the little bit i need anyway sometimes it is better to use very low doses for relief

 

If you are on medication from the doctor do not miss one or stop taking it or never mix with alcohol if there is a warning about that too this is where the big probems come from

I had 6 or so months worth of different trials of medication maybe trying them all back to back was not helpful either you need one out of your system before adding another one but the doctor had me do it this way

2 weeks one type had issues

2 weeks on another i had issues

for 6 months the last one I was on it for 3-4 weeks and was really trying to give it a really good try cause the doctor couldnt believe that all of them are showing me bad effects

anyway I stopped drinking but really wanted to one night so I didnt take the pill this is where your brain thinking gets all messed up

I have only atempted suiside with medication mixed with alcohol and I see myself as an alcoholic it is for life I cannot say that one day I will not wanna drink so bad i do not care and drink no matter what I have in me

even tho I do not drink anymore I might one day again and mixing this stuff has serious side effects

 

I have been depressed for along time :) in and out of it not non stop I have the swings most of the time I am manic "hyper" just do before thinking sometimes but i get stuff done even if I cannot I do ;)

when I have my really bad times its been once a month for up to a week or a week in 2-3 months if I am doing good "times when I wanna die or I really "do not care"

but I have had these feelings for so long I know how to cope read write nap and cry let it out somehow

at these times I feel like I am feeling everyones suffereing here on earth

 

just think of it this way when you are so depressed but there is no reason behind it you just feel this way that isnt not worth it you do not care or you wanna die

no reason well maybe we are feeling the weight of the worlds suffering ??

some of us that do not make it are truley gods children they are too pure to have to feel this suffering they cannot do it and .... we miss you and love you but you cannot stop god when he calls back his angels

 

;) I have worked hard and played even higher ....I can stick it out here and help others like me when they are having a ruff time I hope I come across them when they need it this way it really does help us when we have hard times too cause even helping one person is suffering you do not feel when you feel it all ;)

 

the feeling of we are all one love and hurt it swings both ways


  • -=Zeus=-, Skywatcher and niemandgeist like this

#22 -=Zeus=-

-=Zeus=-

    -= Still Kickin =-

  • OG VIP
  • 1,938 posts

Donator


Awards Bar:

Posted 17 April 2015 - 01:10 AM

I'm all for whatever gets you thru the night...It's alright, it's alright  ;)

 

[Direct Link]


Edited by MezzMezzrow, 17 April 2015 - 01:11 AM.

  • wildedibles likes this

#23 TastyBeverage

TastyBeverage

    Goodbye Ofelia

  • Expired Member
  • 5,229 posts

Posted 17 April 2015 - 12:03 PM

Get some books, educate yourself, read all new research that comes out. I reread my bipolar books and continually relearn stuff i forgot, because cognitive function and memory take severe hits during periods of severe cycling.

 

Something that people forget or don't consider at all is that psychotropic medications often take several weeks to months to really start working effectively. This can be SUPER FRUSTRATING since it's often a struggle just to get in to see the doctor and there's an expectation of instant relief. I find that more than than failing my own expectations, this really fucks with my interpersonal relationships because the people around me have this expectation even stronger than i do.

 

'You went to the doctor, right? You got meds? Why don't you feel better? Are you taking them?'

 

YES I'M FUCKING TAKING THEM, STOP REMINDING ME THAT I'M FUCKING CRAZY


  • -=Zeus=-, Phineas_Carmichael, wildedibles and 2 others like this

#24 Alder Logs

Alder Logs

    ૐ शान्तिः शान्तिः शान्तिः ૐ

  • Moderator
  • 13,141 posts

Donator


Awards Bar:

Posted 17 April 2015 - 01:59 PM

 

Dealing with Bipolar Disorder.

 

 

I think if I had bipolar disorder, I would not get into dealing.


  • -=Zeus=-, wildedibles and niemandgeist like this

#25 niemandgeist

niemandgeist

    You make me happy in a manic sort of way :)

  • OG VIP
  • 2,703 posts

Donator


Awards Bar:

Posted 17 April 2015 - 03:28 PM

Tasty:

 

Good information and advice. I like to read up on bipolar disorder. I read what books I can. My library got some new ones, too that I have to go through. I'm also happy to have learned a lot from professional treatment people in the past. The more you know about it the less scary it is and the more you can get out of your treatment, I feel.

 

Alder Logs:

 

If I were out on the streets dealing bipolar disorder I probably wouldn't get many customers. I mean, maybe if I only told them about the mania. "Yeah! You'll totally feel like and actually think you are the messiah! You'll feel higher and better than any drug or combination of drugs can take you and it'll be all like totally from your own brain chemicals and stuff, man!"

 

Seriously, though, as an actual bipolar person I would never get into dealing unless I got really good at fixing card games... I also don't mess around with drugs much apart from legal alcohol, VERY Occasional (few times a year if lucky) friend or family gifted cannabis, and of course I can grow mushrooms here and there safely and covertly. Apart from that I'm done with that stuff. Good thing exercise is free and makes me feel good.


Edited by niemandgeist, 17 April 2015 - 03:30 PM.

  • Phineas_Carmichael and wildedibles like this

#26 TastyBeverage

TastyBeverage

    Goodbye Ofelia

  • Expired Member
  • 5,229 posts

Posted 18 April 2015 - 07:49 PM

Just wanted to add that bipolar, schizophrenia, ADHD, OCD, ODD, major depressive disorder, borderline personality disorder, etc are all very closely related syndromes with similar or overlapping symptoms and are often comorbid with one another. One of the reasons that mental illness can be so hard to treat.... you may be getting the correct meds and treatment for one thing, but it might make another comorbid condition worse. These things also run in families, so if you've got a family member ESPECIALLY a parent... check yo'self before you wreck yo'self.

 

Most importantly, i can't stress it enough-- live a low stress life. Identify your stressors and get offa that fucking metal grate before the next shock comes.


  • wildedibles and niemandgeist like this

#27 TastyBeverage

TastyBeverage

    Goodbye Ofelia

  • Expired Member
  • 5,229 posts

Posted 19 April 2015 - 12:17 PM

O and cause life is awesomely complicated like that, sometimes you get backlash when the meds DO start to work.

 

'You used to be so much fun'

'Why don't we stay up all night having deep conversations about philosophy anymore?'

'What's with you these days? You got boring.'



#28 niemandgeist

niemandgeist

    You make me happy in a manic sort of way :)

  • OG VIP
  • 2,703 posts

Donator


Awards Bar:

Posted 21 April 2015 - 09:25 AM

No matter how well you may be doing on meds and with regular exercise and whatnot stress and/or lack of sleep can still set you off. It's very, very important to avoid high-stress careers or situations and to avoid career choices or jobs that will screw with a very regular sleep cycle.

 

When I was put on my meds they helped a lot, but it wasn't until I started exercising every day (at least doing some fast walking every day) for a month or two that I really improved much more. Exercise is free medicine, people. It helps keep me energetic, sleeping well, and helps me to better tolerate anxiety and stress. I can't recommend exercise enough to people, especially bipolar people.

 

I'm about to start a new thread that some of you may benefit from. It's going to be a basic introduction to calisthenics (bodyweight exercise) for strength training. You can work out with almost no equipment and for totally free if you want to, and the equipment you need you can buy or build for cheap. No one can take it away from you, and if you ever end up in a mental hospital or jail you can still keep working out.

 

Some people can't afford a gym or, because of their symptoms, they aren't comfortable working out around other people. You can do this stuff at home or at a local park with playground equipment. You can go simple or you can go at it hard. You can do all strength, a balance of strength and endurance, or just focus on endurance/cardio. It's something for everyone, and because you can do at least a little bit of something every day without leaving your house it might be the type of exercise you can try to stick with that will help you stay healthy mentally and physically.


Edited by niemandgeist, 21 April 2015 - 09:26 AM.

  • TastyBeverage likes this

#29 niemandgeist

niemandgeist

    You make me happy in a manic sort of way :)

  • OG VIP
  • 2,703 posts

Donator


Awards Bar:

Posted 14 September 2015 - 04:35 PM

[Direct Link]

 

I haven't felt so alive in years
The sun is shining down on me
My eyes are welling up with tears
Tears of joy, tears of ecstasy

Emotions I once kept concealed
Now flow freely like a river
Life's great mysteries revealed
Love's great promises delivered

I hate my life, I want to die
I was just pretending all this time
A mask I wear so I don't bare
My soul to the cold, harsh world out there
Try to prevail but only fail
Each time on a grander and grander scale
My life is worthless and so am I
I hate my life I want to die

The landscape rises to meet my feet
The sky descends to fill my arms
For once I finally feel complete
For once I know I can't be harmed

All I know is light and love
I feel that I could live forever
While others' troubles seem to grow
I have no problems whatsoever

I hate my life, I want to die
I was just pretending all this time
A mask I wear so I don't bare
My soul to the cold, harsh world out there
Try to prevail but only fail
Each time on a grander and grander scale
My life is worthless and so am I
I hate my life I want to die

The epiphany that came to fall
Finally helped me reconcile
What I felt wasn't joy at all
All this time it was just denial

I hate my life, I want to die
I was just pretending all this time
A mask I wear so I don't bare
My soul to the cold, harsh world out there
Try to prevail but only fail
Each time on a grander and grander scale
My life is worthless and so am I
I hate my life I want to die






Like Mycotopia? Become a member today!