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Fuck Me, You Guys! How do I shave??!!


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44 replies to this topic

#21 Coopdog

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Posted 31 July 2015 - 07:25 PM

I support ya'll no matter what the hell you are into ;) Always been a live and let live kinda guy and I voted to endorse the same sex thing here too. If someone can find love in this world more power to em I say!


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#22 MrGumball

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Posted 31 July 2015 - 09:57 PM

You people crack my shit up.


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#23 Phineas_Carmichael

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Posted 31 July 2015 - 10:13 PM

MrGumball!!!!!! Holy Shit!!!!!! It's been far too long! I was beginning to worry about you!

How's life been treating you and your beard (or lack thereof)? ;)
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#24 Alder Logs

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Posted 31 July 2015 - 10:41 PM

What's he mean, "you people?"


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#25 morfin-56

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Posted 31 July 2015 - 11:34 PM

Nothing to add on the beard situation but alder I've really thought about the mono testicle thing myself and am wondering were I can get it removed.

I hear they can take tissue samples and make it into sperm for me so I don't need it any more.Lol



#26 Phineas_Carmichael

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Posted 01 August 2015 - 12:22 AM



only solution to a beard is a wax , very painful I hear.
be careful they don't rip off your face.
...

I know about wax from... Other Places...

If I can do that to myself based on package directions I can surely trust someone trained to do it to my face...

I think I'll wait a minute and tan my slimy cheeks before I commit to a waxing.

Either that or just grow the fucking thing back in mid-September...

#27 niemandgeist

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Posted 01 August 2015 - 03:07 AM

I've got no idea how people can shave to be baby smooth every damned day. I've had a beard since I could grow peach fuzz at the age of 13 or 14. The goatee started coming in really nice at age 14 or 15. I think I've shaved it all off twice and both times I regretted it.

 

I've had my goatee many inches long with rubber bands and beads in it when I was younger. Since my twenties I've kept my beard, but I've kept it well-manicured and short.

 

No way will I ever shave my beard again. I'll just keep it nice and neatly trimmed. I HAVE to stand up as a beacon of light to all of those men who simply cannot, no matter how hard they try, to grow a nice beard. I feel naked without some kind of facial hair. I was gifted a nice beard-growing face at 14 or 15 for a reason, I feel, and I have to respect the fuzz!

 

That said, your beard is going to grow, and if you're shaving it every damned day you're going to notice the stubble shadow more often. How much it's noticed depends on how fast your beard grows, how thick your hairs are, and what color your hair is. Just shave with the grain first then slightly against/diagonal to it every day and you'll be fine. Nobody's going to care (I should hope) unless you start looking really scraggly after a few days anyway.


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#28 pharmer

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Posted 01 August 2015 - 06:15 AM

as long as you've streamlined yourself so much it might be a good time to pick up track and field or aquatic racing????


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#29 Alder Logs

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Posted 01 August 2015 - 09:28 AM

I say grow the goatee and go for that Lucifer look.  Tell G-d I said it was all right.


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#30 niemandgeist

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Posted 01 August 2015 - 11:58 AM

This used to be me over a decade ago when I still had my long hair and my crazy goatee. I self-censored my eyeballs and stuff so nobody can recognize me, unless of course they're one of a handful of people who knew me when I was young and before I changed my style (not likely.)

 

You can't do a lot with a clean-shaven face. If you've got a beard, though, you can do all sorts of fun things!


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#31 Alder Logs

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Posted 01 August 2015 - 12:12 PM

The first time someone looks at Phineas through their google glasses, somewhere up there in the cloud (or perhaps in a large building in Utah), that bare chinny chin chin of his will be paired with the biometric image of his eyes from his state ID/drivers license/old mugshot photo, the SWAT team vans will soon surround his house, he'll be put into an extraordinary rendition program, shipped to Poland, and tortured for the keys to the archives.  Then we'll all be toast. 

 

Thanks a fuckin' lot, Phin.  You just had to shave.


Edited by Alder Logs, 01 August 2015 - 12:28 PM.

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#32 happy4nic8r

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Posted 01 August 2015 - 12:22 PM

My dad always said a man grows a beard cuz he has something to hide. I had a beard ever since I could grow one. When jobs required clean shaven or hair cut, I figured it was time to move on.

 

That being said, when you get older all you hair will stop growing, or at least turn grey. I shaved mine for quite a while when I got skunk streaked with grey and black. Now that all my hair is grey I let it grow again, I just never look in a mirror.



#33 Alder Logs

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Posted 01 August 2015 - 12:24 PM

 

...when you get older all your hair will stop growing...

 

 

I've got the Rapunzel syndrome coming out of my ears.


Edited by Alder Logs, 01 August 2015 - 12:25 PM.

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#34 niemandgeist

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Posted 01 August 2015 - 12:56 PM

My hairline started to slowly recede in my mid-twenties. Now I'm in my mid-thirties. I still got enough hair up top to keep it all. It just doesn't look good when it's too long because it's thinner now.

 

I will always be comforted in the fact that, even if I lose ALL of the hair on my head, I will still be able to grow a fantabulous (that really is a word by the way -- look it up!) beard that I can groom into any style. I've also got lots of body hair to spare!

 

Boy, if I'm hiding anything with my body hair it's the fact that I'm naked!


Edited by niemandgeist, 01 August 2015 - 12:56 PM.


#35 pharmer

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Posted 01 August 2015 - 01:29 PM

wait a minute, you're old enough to shave ??????



#36 MLBjammer

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Posted 01 August 2015 - 03:31 PM

Seriously, your face has the most sensitive skin on your body (in terms of fragility and number of blood vessels).  So be good to your mug.

 

Any guy who can keep a really smooth-looking face all day doesn't have much of a beard to begin with.  I don't care what kind of razor you use.

 

Phin, there's always laser hair removal, lol.


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#37 Bubbamaniac

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Posted 01 August 2015 - 11:09 PM

Grow your beard back out and eat some mushrooms and look at yourself in the mirror if you see a beard its your spirit animal and it's meant to be or is it spirit beard?

#38 Skywatcher

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Posted 01 August 2015 - 11:37 PM

Trust me on this Phin, 

You can always grow the beard back. You will not always have a good chin and look good clean shaven, as you do now. Live with it a while while you have already taken step one.

 

I can say with 100% confidence, as you get older the beard will 'still grow, even if there is not a hair left on your head. It hides all kind of age, and may be desirable at some phase again.

 

Then again, you may be one of those guys that just feel naked with no face hair. I have had a mustache of some sort, since I was twenty, with the exception of a few years when I went clean shaven.

I grew the beard out, and then trimmed it and went down to a mustache/ goatee on a long vacation, 15 years ago, and would now not consider going without it. Of course this is probably a psychological compensation for having very thin hair on the top of my head now.

 

My hair turned silver at 28, and by the time I was 39 there was no color in the beard either. The plus here is I can go a day without shaving regularly, and most people don't notice.


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#39 I_am_me

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Posted 02 August 2015 - 01:41 AM

Keep saving and spend some time outside getting a little tan action, disappear it will. I used conditioner for a nice close shave. I only grow enough facial hair to ba nuisance, not an accessory. lol



#40 pharmer

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Posted 24 May 2018 - 08:01 PM

If you fear going to Abrahamic Hell for this offense why not commit another?

 

At least then you'll have gamed the system and have a choice of which Abrahamic Guilt Trip to ride






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