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Thanks for Free Stuff, Big Tobacco!


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#1 niemandgeist

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Posted 20 August 2015 - 06:21 PM

This was either for General Discussion or here. Because I'm kinda "cheating the system" here I figured that this is more "Resist & Rebel".

 

I haven't used tobacco products for almost 3 years now. YAY!

 

The one thing I learned over the years, however, is that tobacco companies give away a lot of really, really cool, quality stuff.

WHY?

 

Well, some of you who are older than I am, or are at least in their early to mid 30's as I am, may recall that tobacco companies USED TO be able to advertise.

 

They haven't been able to do that in a long, long time.

 

So, they have a lot of money and they want customer loyalty. If they can't advertise what can they do?

Well, they can collect your information online and send you some awesome free stuff! I guess they figure if they send you quality free stuff you might continue to use their products.

 

I got some really good, nice-sounding earbuds from Marlboro last year. Took months to come in the mail, but those are some fine earbuds. Sound pretty good, too! Came in a nice zip case made of metal and fabric, even. Just today I got my free Leatherman #6 tool (see attached image) from Copenhagen.

 

If you look around online for freebies/free deals the tobacco companies always have the best. They regularly give away customized Zippo lighters and all kinds of nice things. How do they know that you don't smoke or use chew/dip? Just say that you do! Use a burner e-mail address. Sure, you have to give them valid information to get your freebie in the mail, but if you can live with that and you can wait a long while to get the free stuff it is really, really decent quality free stuff!

 

So now I have on my keychain a bottle opener, wrench, box opener, and screwdriver that I didn't need to pay for (OK it cost me my address at least.) I've been getting e-mails from Big Tobacco (easily filtered/deleted), but not much in the way of physical "junk mail" from the postal carrier.

 

 

Leatherman #6 is a travel-friendly pocket tool designed for the simple day-to-day tasks. Equipped with 5 Standard English wrenches (5/16”, 3/8”, 7/16”, 1/2”, and 5/8”) and a #1-2 Phillips Screwdriver, you’re ready to tighten and wrench any task with ease. The #6 comes with our standard 25-year warranty and is manufactured in Portland, Oregon.

 

[attachment=1118180:leatherman6.jpg]

 

1 - Box wrench (English)

2 - Bottle opener

3 - #1 and #2 Phillips head screwdriver

4 - Box Opener


Edited by niemandgeist, 20 August 2015 - 06:24 PM.

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#2 happy4nic8r

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Posted 20 August 2015 - 08:37 PM

Hey Becks beer had a free $12 dollar give away if you signed up, (no receipts), because of a lawsuit.

 

You could get $50 if you had receipts for 25 -12  packs, Now who couldn't say they drank some beck's?



#3 Myc

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Posted 21 August 2015 - 08:06 AM

When I was younger I got several things for "free" from WheezBoro (cough) cigarettes. Y'know.......'cause cowboys are cool and everything. I pooled those coupons to get something "really cool" for quite some time. Shamefully, I had somewhere around 1400+ (wheeze, cough cough). Upon attempting to redeem said coupons, I was thanked by customer support for my loyalty but regrettably, the coupons were no longer valid due to a change in style.

Then, I started getting crap from SloeCamel - Ironically, these were "better" cigarettes - less wheezing and coughing.

Fast forward 15 years and I took up mountain biking. On the first ride, I was alternately trying to keep from passing out or puking over the handle bars - it was a real toss-up as to which was going to take precedent and happen. I felt like I was aspirating blood when I crested that first monumental climb, reached into my camel-bak and fished out a smoke.

Thank goodness I stopped smoking those cigarettes and switched to chewing tobacco - !?! - (talk about WTF?)

 

Now, thankfully, I do both alternately

Nothing like a slow death on the installment plan

And gimme some cool jukey shit for my "loyalty" please. 

 

Watch carefully and enjoy:

[Direct Link]


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#4 Soliver

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Posted 21 August 2015 - 02:47 PM

I still have about 1000 (not joking) Camel Cash bucks in a box somewhere ...

 

True story - Natural Light had a summer giveaway / code in the box thingy - I "won" the first time - 5 hats and 5 t-shirts.  Natty is a beer me and the lady can agree on, so I'd drink it if there were a prize or not ...

 

The caps came a month or so ago - I lost about three of 'em at the beach - the shirts came yesterday ....

 

They're ALL smalls!

 

Now ... you tell me ... who the fuck buys 24 packs of Natty Light and still wears SMALL t-shirts?  I mean, I'm in damn good shape for my age - I work out 4x / week and cut tons of firewood to heat the house, and I'm an outside guy - but I'm 6'2 and 193 - the small shirt looks ridiculous.  And I have five of them.

 

I guess I'll have to give 'em to the kids and do a family picture?

 

:)

 

soliver


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#5 entheonaut

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Posted 21 August 2015 - 03:22 PM

I think it was Jon Stewart who commented "I was 5 Marlboro miles away from the pool table, and I quit smoking... What was I thinking?" :tongue:


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#6 niemandgeist

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Posted 21 August 2015 - 03:22 PM

These days you can look on internet 'freebie' or free stuff' websites and you'll see links that'll take you to places you can get the freebies. I've gotten a few nice free things over the years, but the nicest stuff, and the only truly reliable freebies, have been from the tobacco companies. You just fill out surveys, give an e-mail address, your other information, and you can get an occasional free gift which is nice.

 

I can't imagine how annoying it would be to try to save up those little point coupons from packs of cigarettes.

 

One time, from another company, I got a credit card sized multitool. So long as I've got my wallet with me I have a cutting blade, a small saw, a wrench, screwdriver, can opener, and several other things right there in that multitool. I think those go for 5 bucks usually.

 

I actually have an old old Joe Camel t-shirt that's in semi-decent condition. I got that from a guy who died from emphysema. Chain smoked until the day he died he did.


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#7 Myc

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Posted 21 August 2015 - 04:45 PM

 

 

Now ... you tell me ... who the fuck buys 24 packs of Natty Light and still wears SMALL t-shirts?  I mean, I'm in damn good shape for my age - I work out 4x / week and cut tons of firewood to heat the house, and I'm an outside guy - but I'm 6'2 and 193 - the small shirt looks ridiculous.  And I have five of them.

 

 

 

You're thinking about it all wrong kind sir. I'll help.

 

Take up smoking - if you don't still. Then compound that with a crippling back injury. I can help you drop 60 pounds in 5 months with my patented exercise program.

At six months, like me, you'll be 6'-2" and 135 pounds (and dwindling by the day).

By the time I get cancer of the mouth, throat, and colon from the chew...........I might just fit one of those smalls.

I'll trade you my mountain bike for those Camel Bucks and I'll see if they're accepted in payment of federally mandated health insurance. Or maybe I'll qualify for the big prize........the SloeCamel Coffin complete with built-in cigarette lighter, ashtray, and color-changing LEDs!!

 

See.........It's all in the way you look at things. Some people see crap. Me, I see a sandwich waiting to be made.

 

Niemandgeist,

I hope you understand that I'm being facetious. When I see something like this in 'resist and rebel' .........  I can't help but to resist and rebel a little. ;)

You actually made me laugh my ass off at my own joke. I've been grinning all day. Sometimes, I crack me up. Is that sad or what? Oh well, still chuckling.

"Chain smoked until the day he died, he did"

ROFLMFAO!  You made my friggin' DAY! 

 

Keep it coming PLEASE!


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#8 Soliver

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Posted 21 August 2015 - 05:08 PM

Myc - you fucking slay me.  Yet another time I wish we had a mycotopia Star-Trek transporter so I could punch you in the arm and give you a hi-five, then dodge back to my house without any federal warrants out for my arrest ....

 

I had a sweet Camel-Cash pool cue that I lost somewhere down the line - I quit about four years ago, but I still have a can of Skoal Straight stashed by the shower (emergency purposes), and a really cute tin of Cames Snus (they're gonna get you one way or another) in my shop that I turn to when the smokers and their camraderie and their breaks are about to kill me ...

 

I used to joke that I was saving the Camel Cash in hopes that they'd accept them for future chemotherapy treatments.  Now I'm hoping that they'll be collectibe before I succumb to Americanism.

 

"...the only truly reliable freebies, have been from the tobacco companies..."

 

Just a few years ago, I finally tossed my last Joe Camel t-shirt, depicting a flaccid penis nestled between two recently shaved balls, a.k.a. Joe Camel's face.  I truly regret chucking it, as I don't think anyone would believe that "we never knew!"

joe_camel.gif

 

:)

 

soliver


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#9 Myc

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Posted 22 August 2015 - 08:47 AM

Niemandgeist, I apologize (while still giggling) for de-railing your thread. I understand that you are promoting the acquisition of the promotional goods without being a consumer/user of the actual promoter's product. Fleecing the enemy so-to-speak. Excellent idea. Now that I'm done shamelessly having a laugh, I can make some actual - serious - additions to your thinking.

 

Tobacco companies are the small fries ...... you need to start mining the pharmaceutical companies for the really awesome freebies.

I just read where this practice is no longer allowed in doctor's offices but I didn't see anything about the livestock industry.

 

In the 90's, I wore a top-of-the-line Carhart coat compliments of Pfizer.

Some lucky fellow was the proud recipient of a Browning .30-06 bolt-action rifle complete with Leupold scope compliments of Zoetis.

Red Wing insulated hunting boots, briefcases, desk toys, re-usable hand-warmer packs, gloves, hats, pocket knives...............I'm not sure if I ever had to even buy clothes at all in those days. And I had a pair of pretty killer shades to top it all off. 

The prize closet at just about any reputable veterinary supply is stuffed, top-to-bottom, side-to-side with mountains of killer stuff !!

 

I was just getting the "overflow" - the old stuff which was working its way to the bottom of the closet. It was either going home - or going in the trash. There was too much "new" shit coming in all the time, we had nowhere else to put it and most of it never went out as actual prizes since nobody ever filled out the forms and clipped the coupons. Instead, we used them as feel-good prizes for favored customers - or passed them out among ourselves when the new crap came rolling in.

 

If you could figure out how to tap that gold-mine, you would really have something serious.

 

So yesterday I went a dug through all my junk drawers and came up with what remains of the tobacco promo goods I mentioned:

Two-piece pool-cue and case, metal cigarette case, 3 lighters (none of which work), and a credit-card bottle opener which actually gets used regularly and often. The pharmaceutical promo goodies from the 90's are mostly gone except for a soft-side briefcase (which is still in use).

 

While scrounging, I also relocated all of those square pencils and guitar-picks I thought I had lost. They were in an old cigarette tin.






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