So I decided to shake things up a bit and hit some DMT a few nights ago.
I didn't measure it, I just poured a "big pile" of it into a vial that I screwed into my Eclipse vaporizer (love it!). It was a really big pile; based on previous vapings of similar material I'd say it was around ~200 mg of yellow, slightly oily DMT. I burned some sage and was ready to go (by myself, no sitter; I find them distracting).
I used a torch to preheat the vaporizer and vial, then slowly warmed the DMT up until it all melted. I had some mellow didgeridoo music playing in the background and when the DMT was all liquid I turned off my bedroom light, put the torch under the vial, and proceeded to take the largest dose of DMT I've ever taken (by far).
I got it all in in one hit, with plenty of room in my lungs to spare (technique is everything! Oh, and I have huge lungs). By the time my lungs were full, I was already blasting off and could barely find the floor (which I was laying on on a ground pad, lol) to set the vaporizer down safely. I didn't really expect to clear it all in one hit, actually.
This trip came on so hard and so fast (even for DMT) that it scared the hell out of me. It was freakier than my most intense Salvia trips, and that's saying something! I'll spare the reader all the usual hyperbole about the visuals and colors and such that can never really be described (or there'd be no need to take DMT!). No Spice Elves or entities showed up, nor have I ever seen any on DMT.
When I take DMT, I like to hold the hit in as long as possible (until my lungs are burning and I'm reflexively gasping for air) since that turns DMT up to "12" (DMT already "goes to 11" all by itself). But this time, when I exhaled I was MUCH further out than usual at that point and it felt like my mind and body had fully uncoupled from each other. I had the unshakable certainty that this was what the moments after physical death were like, which many users report experiencing, but it brought it home in a way that I'd never experienced before. I remember vaguely thinking "uh-oh..."
For the first time, I "saw" my physical body and the experiences I've had in it as almost inconsequential (almost!). They were something going on "over there," and I could observe that Other-Self breathing and thinking and such, but "I" was not the one breathing or thinking, just the observer. I felt like I'd accidentally killed my Lower/physical Self (by taking the DMT hit) and so I was freaking out about it at first since the moment I realized what I'd done, I regretted it due to too much unfinished business left behind (apparently I still have some things to do before I'll be allowed to leave). But it was too late, I was dead and so I had to complete the journey I'd begun. Fuuuuuuck...
The vibrations from the stereo playing the didgeridoo music caused something on my dresser to fall over, which made a noise that intruded into my trip in a bad way (uh-oh, WTF was that?), and somehow I found the light switch on a lamp and turned on the light, but that didn't help as I still couldn't see anything, it just gave me a sense of the presence of light. You know you're WAY "out there" (or is it "in here?") when you can't tell if your eyes are open or not!
I had to turn off the music since it was way too intense (this was 2 minutes and 30 seconds into the trip, which I know because that's where the song was paused; it felt like years had already passed). I stuck my finger towards where the sound was coming from and found a button, lol. Then I had to yank the plug for a fan out of the wall (took a few tries; I couldn't find the switch) since the air suddenly chilled me to the bone and the white noise was oddly maddening. Then I hid under a blanket. I thought I was done with this planet once and for all, and I was just fine with that at some level. But I still didn't know who "I" was, even while I was dealing with my immediate surroundings (more or less).
It was the most bizarre in-and-out-of-body (at the same time) experience I've ever had (usually it's one or the other), and reminded me of my most intense Salvia trips but the dissociative state was not total like it is with breakthrough doses of Salvia.
To save my sanity I had to let go completely, surrender to my "demise," and shift to my "rooted self" again, a self-defense technique I was taught for hyperspace that got me out of a tough spot once before. Once I did that, I was reconnected with my allies (on both sides of the Veil) and the visceral terror finally abated (which was by then confined to my Lower Self that my Higher Self had just watched die and subsequently uncouple from).
At that point, I was completely free of all thoughts, desires, expectations, or really anything except total clarity, peace, and a sense of Oneness (with everything) for a while. Good stuff, and lots of gut-busting laughter came shortly after that, once conventional thinking resumed. Whew!
I eventually heard myself say "Hooooooooly shiiiiiiiiiiit!" in the slow-motion slurred speech of someone still returning from the other side of death, then laughed and said "I found my mouth!" to no one in particular, then "I think I ate my pillow!" (I hadn't; I'd just chewed on it a bunch, lol). It took another minute or two before my talking out loud to myself didn't seem like hearing someone else talk (which is why I was responding to myself, I guess).
It was a harrowing but ultimately beautiful pressure-washing of the crusty buildup of negative thoughts and bad habits that slogging through consensus-reality day after day tends to weigh us down with.
Edited by TVCasualty, 12 September 2015 - 12:21 PM.