The Concept of Mental Willness as Opposed to Mental Illness
Posted 19 November 2015 - 10:22 PM
I have been trying to stay positive i had a hard week but always looked for the positive improvements i made no matter how small so i wouldnt put so much energy into what went wrong get myself further down just keep trying
Haha i worked a bit today and felt bad an hour or so in couldnt do itanymore had to stop and i did my mood was kinda crapy so i went to visit a friend her cat had kittens they r ready to go i cannot get one but i knew they would love to play with me i had fun baby animals are good medicine for the soul ;)
- Skywatcher and Alder Logs like this
Posted 18 December 2015 - 04:34 PM
I don't know what I can really say about philosophies of mental health and new-age-y wisdom...
I've heard advice from every direction. In the end it all seems to come down to people telling me not to be the way that I am. I'm weird, I'm crazy, I don't give a fuck what people think because from where I'm standing they re the ones who look like they have a screw loose.
I hear voices, have prophetic dreams, entertain delusions for which there is absolutely no evidence. I think it's mostly because I'm bored. I spend too much time alone. I think I'm nuts, but insist that I'm not actually crazy.
Which of course is the first sign.
I look inside sometimes when I have the courage to take a high dose of psychedelic, and all I see are flowing curves of energy which wrap in upon themselves, they are full of light and essence and information. I try to work on this energy and sort out my pain. I think it's the pain inside that makes most of us normal people look like we have problems in our brain. Our behavior is just a symptom of a different kind of problem.
I also think that pushing oneself to try and become "normal" (whatever that is) is a recipe for disaster. I have never had success trying to fit my square peg into the round hole of the world's expectations of me. Instead, I prefer to just ignore what the world says to me and choose not to care. I'll be as crazy as I like, thank you very much and if you don't like it you can promptly get fucked. When people tell me to think positive, I think the problem is the reverse: I haven't let myself fall into the depths of hell so that I can confront my demons directly. I NEED to freak out a little, I need to stir up my emotions, I need to occasionally dwell on the darkness until I can hear the thunder break and the rain fall, because I know that once it does the clouds will eventually part and I will again find the sun shining down from a clear blue sky.
Now this doesn't mean that I've vanquished all my external demons yet. It's work. I work on getting them out of my psyche, using the proper tools - psychedelics. They might not get you there all in one night, but every night I use them it seems to be worthwhile, and I'm getting "better." Less crying in public, holding a job, paying my own bills, not freaking out and thinking of suicide at the end of every conversation with regular human beings.
The truth is that sanity is a fine line whose road is in different places of the map depending on who you get your directions from. I have stopped asking others and just trust myself. Any attempts to talk about it any more are just an effort to alleviate my loneliness... wanting to find someone else out there who feels the same way I do.
Edited by darci, 18 December 2015 - 04:37 PM.
Posted 27 December 2015 - 12:36 AM
wildedibles, try to keep your thinking as positive as you can.
do not let negativity get the best of you, trust me!
the individual mind is something of great proportions.
stay positive in your thoughts my friend.
Edited by Ovoideocystidiata, 27 December 2015 - 12:37 AM.