LOL - I was concerned that I had caused offense - none intended - none taken.
I just don't think that much of myself - It surprises me when others express that they think highly of me.
I pull on my pants pretty much the same way as everyone else. And on bad days, I have to have someone else put my socks and shoes on me (and tie my shoes).
I'm still trying to figure this all out. So to keep it simple, a brief history for comparison.
I was born - just like everyone else. My mind was a blank slate.
After being dragged to church, sent to school, and being raised around only high-school educated adults....I just picked up on their ideas - adopted them as my own. Deep philosophical discussion was completely foreign to my social group. Questioning the bible in my house - in the wrong light - was grounds for an ass-beating. I didn't even know other religions existed until I went to school - and then, only other judeo christian religions.
As I got older, I found that there were a number of other peaceful religions out there - and they weren't 'devil worshipers' or inherently 'evil'. But I had been taught this for years - anything other than the King James bible was basically devil worship.
How does an indoctrinated mind overcome these things?
Drugs are bad. This was drummed into my head from the earliest possible age.
But when I actually took them, they weren't bad at all. To the contrary, they were quite wonderful. (Except that I turned out to be a serious abuser of anything which altered the way I felt.)
Then, I learned to help myself by learning to cultivate various things. Once I quit chasing drugs ...... their importance diminished. For this reason, I advocate that drugs not be "illegal" for personal use.
Basically, my entire life has been composed of real risks. Keep in mind that I've been taught that I'm going to hell on two counts now - for using drugs, and for looking into other religious ideologies. Twice damned for thinking outside the box.
So when I met god and his angels while using DMT, you can imagine the psychological conundrum.
The only way I was able to process and integrate these experiences is by comparison to a new family's experience (you folks). I still struggle sometimes.
Are You tripping?
Am I tripping?
Or is this finally the Truth?
I AM - but am I?
Do we just go around and around and around - born a blank slate, struggle from the ooze to find oneself only to die and have one's memory wiped again at re-birth?
I have a tough time thinking about these things.
The bible is really clear about creation - but leaves a lot of shit out ..... like.....what are angels? Where is their creation story? What is their purpose? Why would an omniscient being - seeing all/knowing all - need helpers? Where did this 'lord of the flies' who goes to and fro upon the face of the earth come from?
Keep in mind that you were raised to only use the King James version to try and answer these things. Gnosticism and Ancient Mysteries are the tools of the devil.
So I decided to take a look - since I'm damned anyway (according to my family's belief system). Just like smoking DMT for the first time, looking into alternative spiritual explanations is a real risk.
I hope that helps provide some clarification.
Just so you know, I have a bit of an irreverent sense of humor.
If I were a father, I cannot imagine that I would allow my infant child to use the "stumble-upon" method of learning how to live hoping he would get lucky enough to find an obscure internet website visited by compassionate strangers. On the other hand it seems that Our Father thinks that this is a viable way to learn.
I guess sometimes you gotta break a few eggs to make an omelette eh??
With no clear set of instructions - no absolute Truth..........it's all really just belief/faith.......Is it not?
Perhaps a better way to think of this. You've encountered a group of open, un-capped wires in an electrical junction box. Are they "hot" or are they not? With no electrical meter, you have to treat the wires as if they would kill you. Or, you can just reach out and grab them to see what happens. I have a meter - I don't like finding stuff out the hard way.
Edited by Myc, 23 January 2016 - 10:30 AM.