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Mountain cabin plans + experience (eventually)


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#1 Guy1298

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Posted 30 July 2016 - 09:28 PM

I've always got a feeling that I add little to this forum. And also I've always had the feeling that I am self-loving and arrogant. Less so now than before, but definitely so. I really don't spend enough time here, and I've never been good at adding positive information, too little empathy I think. A flawed human being. 

 

But anyway, sometime in the future, I'm going to be renting a cabin in the mountains, and drinking probably most likely bridgesii, but it depends on if I can get mushrooms; I don't intend to grow again anytime soon. I came out to mountainous country to live mostly knowing that the mountains in the backyard would be the perfect setting, on top of certain opportunities. 

 

I hope that these coming months and years, with the right setting, lead me to clearer insights, a more healthy personality, and all of that. Perhaps I'm crazy. When I tell my brother that I know I'd be happy living in South America where I could easily and occasionally drink Ayahuasca, he thinks I'm crazy. 

 

When it's closer to time, I'll update this thread. Until then.


Edited by Guy1298, 30 July 2016 - 09:52 PM.

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#2 Guy1298

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Posted 30 July 2016 - 11:01 PM

Perhaps Ayahuasca instead. I imagine it might be sometime before it happens. I'm not exactly in the best mindset right now. And Ayahuasca is something I've never used alone, though usually I use everything else alone. We'll see. I'm excited for it. Ayahuasca was the most healing thing I've ever engaged with. I really feel like all this weird spirit stuff that's been happening with others is based in my time with Aya. The trust I have of them, despite the fear I have with regard to myself within the world and setting, its has some previous experience with Ayahuasca as it's backbone. I think. Who knows?



#3 Alder Logs

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Posted 30 July 2016 - 11:52 PM

Are you even a personality on aya?   It's the personal idea of identity that sweats out its image of itself.   If you look at it from your undefined self, your present awareness, you just might see you were never the one with the fear, arrogance, what have you.  Aya can blast it away, you don't have to take it back.   You might see it trying to take you back, but that seeing will tell you that idea of a personality is not you the seer.   Once you have started to get it outed as not you, it can never have as much of you as it once did.   You are going to be okay, or see that you are already.   Your openness and honesty show through here, and that's the best thing you could add for this one.  You are more important than any information.   Thanks for being here.


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#4 mjroom

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Posted 31 July 2016 - 12:39 AM

I like this guys video work he has really gotten to be comfortable in the wild raw setting. Don't mean to hijack your thread just think he gets so comfortable in the setting he seems to be walking the walk and living the life in the woods. Regards mjroom.

 

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#5 Heirloom Spores

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Posted 05 August 2016 - 02:40 PM

Guy 1298 you are a valued part of us - our community. I want to here - learn more from you.

I understand why your hand is at your head, are you a Bonobo or?

I know understanding humans is difficult imagine how the first aliens that visited us felt.

I still enjoy this thread and love to learn more about cabins.


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#6 Coopdog

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Posted 05 August 2016 - 03:27 PM

I have yet to do Ayahuasca myself. Mostly because I don't really have a private place to experience that. I feel it would be best alone, but I don't wish to concern my two adult daughters who still live at home and worry about my journeys. Just cooking up some Pedro/bridgessii tea a while back gave them concern and me guilt. I also got a big ration of hell from my father who called while it was brewing and who I have always been honest with. His brother was very much a psychonaut and had an old hippy soul, my dad however told me in no uncertain terms that I was being a dumbass and needed to stop that stupid shit before I flip out on something and end up in jail.

 

I tried to explain to him the beauty and gentleness of a cactus experience, but it was obviously falling on concerned and deaf ears, so from now on I will not be so honest with him, which IMHO hurts both of us. We are both too far along in our journeys to keep what I consider sacred and important knowledge from one another. I would have hoped one day he might try something along these lines and find the joy and freedom that his brother did. So much for that though. He has no problem sitting around snorting coke or Percocet and swilling vodka and Gatorade while he judges me, but oh well. Like you said Guy, these things have made me a better person than I was before I found them. Some people are just not meant to be a part of that I guess.

 

I look forward to hearing about your cactus journey. I have had a big chunk of B. Caapi and some MHRB bark stored for quite some time in the hopes of making an aya brew even if bark is not part of the traditional recipe. I know it will give the desired effect when I do brew it up.

 

Peace man.;;


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#7 Heirloom Spores

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Posted 05 August 2016 - 03:57 PM

Coop, I am so very sorry for your bad family experiences. I have a few who won't talk to me and think I am very bad.
My mom realized I was a good person before she died.

My dad , I followed his advise run away and never come back. So I  joined the army. never contacted him again.
Then he wonders why I don't talk to him. He does not remember ?/?

My parents were not parents a person might choose.

The kids I raised know I was honest with them and I even smoke weed and trip with one, the others don't do weed or psychedelics.
They all say I was the best  most honest and that they love me. I was open about my cannabis use and LSD as well as mushrooms.

More than I can say about my own parents.


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#8 Coopdog

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Posted 05 August 2016 - 05:35 PM

I have always been honest with my parents. Always had a difficult relationship with Mom, but I think we went a long way towards reparations before she passed. Frankly I was shocked at my Dad's reaction as he has been a partying sumbitch his entire life and always did whatever the hell he wanted to do. My daughters are used to it lol and they don't mind too much. I think honesty and openness is the way to go through life, at least as much as is socially acceptable. Oh and btw, Guy, didn't mean to sidetrack your thread. Back to the assigned programming.... :)


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#9 Heirloom Spores

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Posted 05 August 2016 - 09:41 PM

I would like to here more . There is something about being close to nature that is healing.



#10 Guy1298

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Posted 06 August 2016 - 06:50 PM

I thought about the plans a bit more. I decided Ayahuasca is the way to go.

 

I plan on brewing maybe 5 doses, I probably won't use them all. And I think I'm going to rent the cabin for about a week. I'm guessing I would probably drink three times, possibly only two depending on how crazy I feel afterwards. Maybe mimosa, maybe chacruna. Chacruna was what I used before. Hard to know yet. The rule will probably be to use a lot of Caapi. Despite my tendency to usually trip in lighted areas, I think darkness is called for here.

 

I'll probably not push it. I'll drink enough to purge for sure. When I used Aya before I didn't feel blown away, but then gradually it did blow me away, very gradually. Of course, I'm betting it will be entirely different than before. It will probably be harder, I know. But I think I'll be safer, since every time I use hallucinogens I feel like the illusion of permanent happiness (or any other variation on this) dissolves by the continuation of life. Life's very very challenging scenarios, people, etc., don't let that idea survive for very long. 

 

So no permanent happiness. My purpose is probably to see myself and the people around me more clearly. Have an emotional cleansing that may help me relate to them better. On the more difficult side of things, I need to approach the fear I have around existence, god, etc. And on the ugly side of things, I need to look closely at and find a way to let go of the potentially fearful and terrible parts of life. I know that there is something within me that is very dissatisfied and waiting for his mind to go completely nuts, but that's my fear. The trap. But don't we all know about that sense of terror, a menacing god breathing down your neck?  :hug:

 

Well, that's it. It will still be sometime before it happens. Just working on the details. 



#11 Alder Logs

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Posted 06 August 2016 - 11:29 PM

However one gets to the truth of what they are, I really love this song:

 

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#12 Heirloom Spores

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Posted 06 August 2016 - 11:51 PM

Beautiful


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#13 Guy1298

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Posted 07 August 2016 - 01:07 PM

Thanks for the song Alder. It was relaxing.

 

Actually just after it I remembered a friend of mine that's dead. She was a person that helped me along when I first began using psychedelics, phone conversations, sharing of ideas, etc. She always admired me for whatever reason. She died suddenly sometime before I was going to see her last year. She always told me to relax, and I'd always tell her that I was relaxed. She must have known something I didn't. It's true, I'm not relaxed. Haha. 


Edited by Guy1298, 07 August 2016 - 01:08 PM.

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#14 Heirloom Spores

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Posted 07 August 2016 - 01:27 PM

Guy we are here to hear if you need to share , I too loved the song, it brought to mind several thoughts.

I don't think its crazy to move to South America, if you need to .

I am burning some Jasmine incense for all of us who are 1 but in different bodies that make us think we are separated when in fact we are one.


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#15 Guy1298

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Posted 08 August 2016 - 09:17 PM

I remember I met a man in Peru who had seriously drank Ayahuasca cup after cup. He attended ceremonies, drank cup after cup. And after that he bought some of the mystery Ayahuasca from vendors in the market, a water bottle full of it. He drank cup after cup. He apparently was determined to get the experience, but it wouldn't come. 

 

Later I hung out with him. I was sitting there as a Peruvian girl who helped me out sat around me talking. Then the guy seemed to treat the girl strangely. Like an older gentlemen would walk up to say "Hi" to her, then the man who drank cup after cup would say something sexual about the older man and her. From my perspective there was something so friendly about the older guy, genuinely loving, but absolutely not sexual. At that moment, I thought, the kind of way he was looking at the world was the reason why Ayahuasca wasn't having any affect. Of course, I was blasted away at that point. I believed in some sort of goddess in Ayahuasca, etc. Haha. It's weird when the things you hear in the jungle start feeling true. Still you couldn't get me to believe in astrology even if I drank a ton of it! 


Edited by Guy1298, 08 August 2016 - 09:36 PM.


#16 Guy1298

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Posted 08 August 2016 - 09:25 PM

Similar things about dosage and experience seemed tied to personality, experience, brain chemistry? with respect to psychedelics. I must admit when I first used mushrooms I experienced basically nothing. It took about 5-6 times before something really happened, and even then it was minimal visually. 

 

I wonder about it. When I drank Ayahuasca, only me and another guy seemed to be having full-blown experiences. Seriously, about 4 people left for one reason or another, most people leaving to go somewhere else for more intense doses. Is it the case that doses become stronger with more use? And I wonder how this relates to personality and growing insight? Something to wonder about. Probably nonsense, but just as nonsensical as seeing this world is from one perspective or the next; its all so different. 


Edited by Guy1298, 08 August 2016 - 09:39 PM.


#17 Guy1298

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Posted 08 August 2016 - 09:46 PM

Well, will probably be doing a bit of bridgesii soon. Mountain cabin plans won't be for a long while. Last time I wanted to drink Ayahuasca, bridgesii scared me so bad I wouldn't even consider it. Haha. Maybe this time, I'll find that it reinforces the idea that I should? :)

 

Of course, I won't take a massive dose. Manageable, I hope.

 

It seems agreed that mescaline is positive. But why does it scare me? I remember trying to find love mentally so that I could coast out a certain section of discomfort and everything around me in a sense jumped out, evil-like and led me to feel like I was going to hell. Probably it scares me because fear is the requirement of faith and integrity. Well, keep love close. I'll try to really enjoy this ride. 


Edited by Guy1298, 08 August 2016 - 09:55 PM.


#18 Guy1298

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Posted 09 August 2016 - 10:14 PM

Well, it was the emotional bleaching I needed. 

 

I think I will keep up with these plans, I'll love to tell you how it goes when it comes time. Thanks for listening and understanding. 



#19 SteampunkScientist

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Posted 11 August 2016 - 09:17 PM

I like this guys video work he has really gotten to be comfortable in the wild raw setting. Don't mean to hijack your thread just think he gets so comfortable in the setting he seems to be walking the walk and living the life in the woods. Regards mjroom.

[Direct Link]


If the dude in this video kept going, he would be forging iron and making a tractor in the next 30 minutes of the video. An hour later he would be building cell phones from ore he dug out of the ground!

Tongue in cheek I know, but this leads me back to your original comment Guy, just look at the responses and thoughts generated here. You gave contributed! Keep up the good work.

#20 mjroom

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Posted 12 August 2016 - 10:52 AM

 

I like this guys video work he has really gotten to be comfortable in the wild raw setting. Don't mean to hijack your thread just think he gets so comfortable in the setting he seems to be walking the walk and living the life in the woods. Regards mjroom.

[Direct Link]


If the dude in this video kept going, he would be forging iron and making a tractor in the next 30 minutes of the video. An hour later he would be building cell phones from ore he dug out of the ground!

Tongue in cheek I know, but this leads me back to your original comment Guy, just look at the responses and thoughts generated here. You gave contributed! Keep up the good work.

 

He actually builds a forge and he smelts some raw metal out of clay and some other material. He seems so at one with his environment and himself. We cannot all become the self sufficient fellow that we see in his videos but just learning how to garden or to camp or fish or hunt builds a sense of self sufficiency and respect and much more importantly confidence in our actions along with personal responsibility for what we do. When we become detached from nature we get into trouble and we lose our way. Regards mjroom.


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