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First trip... small trip


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#1 bennylava

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Posted 08 January 2017 - 09:09 PM

I'd like to get you guys' insights on my first mushroom experience. Your thoughts and opinions are welcome. I finally got my friend over to be a trip sitter for me. I grew and dehydrated my own mushrooms. Anyway he'd done mushrooms before several times, and just generally knows how to handle himself. To learn how to trip, and get some experience under my belt, this first "trip" was only 1.75 grams. But I did feel it, even if it wasn't what you'd call a full on mushroom trip. It made me very... animate. I moved around a lot more than I normally would. Felt very fluid, which is a bit strange I guess. I really couldn't just sit on the couch. I needed to be up moving around, even if it was just walking around my house.

 

Also a sort of confidence came over me, almost a feeling of being powerful. I felt like I could master any undertaking I chose, if just given a little bit of time to learn about it. That feeling of nagging doubt was gone, and replaced by more confidence than I've felt in a long time, maybe than I've ever felt. I wouldn't say that I'm normally some unconfident person, but rather that I have all the same doubts and indecision that every person experiences when they face something unknown, whatever that may be. A new job, a new hobby, working on something, the usual stuff. But not when I was on the mushrooms. When I thought of those things, I felt nothing but confidence and a sense that in fairly short order, I could master any of it. It was as if the tables had turned, and now it was the one that should have been unconfident, in the face of me. I like to post pictures and memes and videos and such, to help me illustrate my point. Please do not concern yourself with who the person in this gif is supposed to be. But rather just look at it for how he must feel, if this were actually real. Its not, but I think it accurately conveys the way the mushrooms made me feel.

 

 

9qeCgNj_zpsnb64yxxq.gif

 

 

 

The next thing is something that I also found to be odd. Well I guess the whole thing was odd, since that would be the nature of mushrooms and especially since this was my first time using them. But I did find it weird. I was having thoughts, that didn't really seem like me. Well, not the me I know, anyway. Or not the me that I've tried to make myself into, and have been quite successful in doing. And not the me I'm comfortable with. For some reason, this scene came to mind as the best description of what I'm trying to convey. The subject matter of the scene is unrelated to my situation, but I think its still a good representation. I'm not sure if any of you watch this show, so I'll give a short description. Its called "Supernatural". So we have the king of hell, who is an evil demon. He sits on the throne in the absence of Lucifer. He's being "cured" of his evil, by Sam, who has captured him. It forces him to sort of let his inner self come out. But like me he really doesn't seem to be aware of what is in there. Keep in mind he is not normally like this, not at all. He's absolutely evil. The very end, captures what I'm trying to convey. The last few seconds. He sort of realizes what he's saying/thinking, and is kind of like "WTF.. that's weird..."

 

That part right there, is what I'm talking about. Having thoughts that didn't feel like me. Unless maybe they're from childhood or something. Can't be sure. Has anyone else had this happen? I found it to be somewhat unsettling. Anyway here is the vid:

 

 

[Direct Link]

 

 

 

Thoughts and opinions?


Edited by bennylava, 08 January 2017 - 09:20 PM.

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#2 wharfrat

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Posted 08 January 2017 - 09:33 PM

welcome to the dark light side :biggrin:  sounds like you had a good first tripp. The mush definitely open up the mind to diff thoughts about life, that is not uncommon. Sometimes it is overwhelming and or different, thoughts that are unfamiliar to you, I use them as a learning tool, whether bad or good, i try and take back something with me to think about.

gonna move this over to the "storming the gates" forum.. the place for tripp reports.. Thanks for sharing :biggrin:


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#3 Ramble

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Posted 09 January 2017 - 02:54 AM

Feeling "outside" of yourself is pretty common IMHO. I was once tripping and took a shower and as I looked at my body I kept thinking, "this isn't mine" which later helped me find the path that I am on today as far as my spirituality goes. Sounds good overall :)
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#4 pharmer

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Posted 09 January 2017 - 09:11 PM

I get the confidence thing. I often feel like I could take on a squad of Chinese or fight a bear while tripping.

 

As far as the "other you" goes.....try this on for size - shrooms, most psychs, strip away far more than they add. Meaning elements of your ego or personality are put "in neutral" or "on hold" during the trip so that who you are observing is a stripped down version of you. A less complicated you. You - without so much You. You without so much thinking about all the trivial shit that buggers every day.

 

So, it's You alone with Yourself for a change.

 

You may have been surprised to find out You are a much less complicated entity than You thought.

 

At least that's one of the things I've taken away from several trips.

 

That you came away happy and have learned is as much as anyone can ask for.


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#5 bennylava

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Posted 09 January 2017 - 10:34 PM

So what is with the super confidence thing? Why would that happen?



#6 pharmer

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Posted 09 January 2017 - 11:05 PM

Can't say for sure.

 

But if I'm right about stripping away then I might be right in saying I, and you, are that confident EXCEPT FOR the everyday layers of caution and self preservation.

 

Find and read Aldous Huxley's Doors of Perception. He does an awesome job of explaining how our egos and public faces develop almost from the day we are born as defense mechanisms against the real and perceived dangers of being mortal. It's a fascinating read and worth the effort of tracking it down. I'll bet there's an online version or PDF somewhere here on this site, if not the Net for sure.

 

It will do wonders for helping you understand how and why you have many of the thoughts you have all day everyday. And then it will help you understand how these thoughts are "turned off" while tripping. The drug is the mechanism that turns these thoughts off. What's left in the quiet is much likelier to be the real You.

 

For many experienced trippers tripping ain't about the pretty lights and laughing. It's about Inner exploration. Just when you think you know yourself...........


Edited by pharmer, 09 January 2017 - 11:10 PM.

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#7 Alder Logs

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Posted 10 January 2017 - 10:54 AM

What's being described here is much like Advaita Vedanta's self inquiry, whereby you see the thoughts for what they are and where they arise, and that we are not our thoughts.  The point, initially, is not to be concerned with the nature or fact of them, but to just see them in awareness, attaching no significance to them beyond their happening.  The difference between Advaita and tripping balls is, the mind is there in its natural capacity to do what we need of it.  The quiet of mind comes with the discernment of thoughts, whether they come from pure presence, or the personal psychology of a made up identity.  

 

The trip gives us glimpses in its sweeping away of our personal story life that so occupies the conditioned consciousness.  When seen for what it is, that story can lose its power over consciousness, its continually taking us from presence and into memories and projections of our personal stories.   As present consciousness, we see it all for what it is, and isn't.  It is possible.   The lessons of the trips can be made real and not lost back into the waking state dreaming.  


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#8 pharmer

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Posted 10 January 2017 - 10:56 AM

Elegantly written, Alder.

 

You could make a living at writing


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#9 Alder Logs

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Posted 10 January 2017 - 12:10 PM


As far as the "other you" goes.....try this on for size - shrooms, most psychs, strip away far more than they add. Meaning elements of your ego or personality are put "in neutral" or "on hold" during the trip so that who you are observing is a stripped down version of you. A less complicated you. You - without so much You. You without so much thinking about all the trivial shit that buggers every day.

 

So, it's You alone with Yourself for a change.

 

You may have been surprised to find out You are a much less complicated entity than You thought.

 

At least that's one of the things I've taken away from several trips.

 

This seeing is why I have so honored psychedelics and what they have done for this life.  All the glimpses were as preparation for escape from the made up Me.  

 

 

You could make a living at writing

 

Better perhaps, I frequently find joy in it.  And in presence, I see the state of joy is just another passing state of being, and that it is the being that is ever present.   I experienced the psychedelic seeing enough times to really watch that loss of presence, as personal mind comes back in and works to objectify the subjective presence that took place in its temporary absence.   The psychedelicized mind has a potential advantage, in that it has known its depersonalization, and therefor can entertain something of its potential freedom.  

 

Using personal story here only as a pointing:

 

One time when in a small personal crisis, with guidance offered by a wise friend to watch and witness the living of this life, that personal story and conditioning was seen for what it was, and more importantly, what it wasn't.   Just like in a mushroom trip, there was a release from being who I thought I was.  And much like a trip, some days later, even this changed mind began to assert itself as a new story, one that was incorporating its version of what had happened (in the past, of course).  Once again, there was a post trip fading of presence into a new and slightly modified conditioning.  No blame there, its just the habit which is learned in being a human in culture. 

 

It was at this time when an Advaita master was found (or was I found by the master) and we could say the student was ready for the teacher.  I had an inkling from the losses experienced after so many psychedelic experiences that something similar was taking place.  There was a sort of fading coming on with ego mind subtly reasserting itself in a new guise.   I could not see it for what it was, but found one who could bring me to see it happening.   I didn't want to lose the freedom to just be.   When one such master was found, it was seen that there are many telling the same truth, once there are ears to hear.   

 

In being, it all just happens, and joy is but one part of all there is.  The universe is gifting us in every way possible with the invitation to just be.  All we need is to entertain a possibility that freedom is what we are.   It's what the mushrooms, and the masters, want us to see.  


Edited by Alder Logs, 10 January 2017 - 02:22 PM.

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#10 Arathu

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Posted 14 January 2017 - 08:36 PM

I recently finished reading a book by Stephen Harrod Buhner called "Plant Intelligence and The Imaginal Realm". A great read and study IMHO. He speaks specifically to a subject called "sensory gating" in which the vast amounts of continuously inbound information being gathered by the body is massively "edited" or "gated" so that we can actually process it with the waking ego/mind. The other stuff goes on in the background without making it into our "waking ego based images" Specific molecules, such as those found in some of our mushroom friends, open the gates. Mckenna et. al. mentioned boundary dissolving, as it were I concur.

 

In one session I deliberately intended to attempt OBE...............and indeed at one point I sat across the fire from myself, looking back at myself through the flames sitting there, looking at myself looking at myself. Whoa, a clone, whoa, neither of those "things" is me. Is it all made up? Hell yeah it's all made up..................except for "I am" Anything that I can point to is not me. The only thing that remains unchanged is that presence, everything else is an interesting and complex set of standing waves being driven by an endless combination of energetic emanations.

 

Don't listen to me as I'm apt to eat strange fungi and talk to tree's...................... 


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#11 Arathu

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Posted 14 January 2017 - 08:49 PM

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Here is tiny excerpt (note: I'm not selling books :biggrin: )






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